"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

This morning I woke up to the most excruciating pain on my left shoulder and neck. My only consolation was that I had already sahur and did my fajr prayers. Somehow after prayers I had gone back to sleep and I must have slept wrongly or 'salah bantal' as the Malays say.

So there I was, unable to turn my head to either side and worst of all, I couldn't lift up my hands to do simple tasks like tying up my hair or putting on my clothes! Astagfirallah... every movement caused me to yelp out in pain and after a while it was too much to bear so I went to my mother's room and cried for help.

After seeing the doctor and taking my medication, I went to sleep. It was difficult to even put my head gently on the pillow but I tried. And I thought about this pain:

How much is this pain compared to the pain of hell-fire and torture in the grave? I can't imagine... but I think this pain must be less than the pain of giving birth (something I may experience someday).

But I am thankful for this pain and for everytime I fall sick because I take it as a sign of kafarah for my sins. May He inflict this pain and suffering now for my minor sins than for me to experience them after death. Don't you agree?

So may the tears I shed help cleanse me from my past sins... Insyaallah.

Innalillah we innalillah hi rajiun...
Syafakillah, may I get well soon

Amin