Lose Some Weight or Gain Some Faith

I'd just like to share this article i found here: http://www.muslimahsource.org/uncategorized/lose-some-weight-or-gain-some-faith-%C2%A9/

By: Umm Zakiyyah

“Oh, I envy you!”  The woman’s eyes were wide as she stared at Aya’s thin physique  from where the woman sat next to Aya on the couch, where they both held small glass plates of dessert, as did the other women in the room.

Aya smiled slyly as she carelessly finished off her second slice of German chocolate cake, using the side of her fork to scrape the glass saucer free of dark, rich icing before licking the fork clean.  She had delivered her fifth child only six weeks ago, and the fitting shirt she wore revealed a flat tummy and petite frame.

“How do you do it?” another woman asked.

Aya shrugged.  “I don’t.  I never stress over what I eat.”

She laughed.  “God, I’d die if I had to count calories.  Food’s the only thing I can depend on to always be sweet when I approach.”

The women laughed.

“But you must be doing something.  I swear, I’ve tried every diet out there, and none of them work.”
“Tell me about it.”

Aya wore a hesitant smile, unsure how to respond.

“Oh my God,” a woman said, glancing at her watch just then.  “It’s almost time for ‘Asr.  Let’s hurry up and pray Dhuhr before it goes out.”

It’s a scene almost every woman can relate to.  The always-thin-no-matter-what-I-eat [and by-the-way-I-never-exercise!] woman walks into the room, and every woman wants to know what her secret is (including me!).   But even as we listen intently to whatever she says, if she says anything at all, deep inside we know each of us already knows the answer, at least as it relates to our real question.

Now why can’t I look like that?

Metabolism, genes, “baby fat,” laziness, and just plain “bad luck” are just a few possible answers.  We go through the “diet binges” (as I like to call them), then we’re back to square one (well, not exactly, because that’s where we were trying to get with the diet).  In any case, it’s to no avail.

Then we turn to self-help literature.

Love the Real You.
Embrace That Baby Fat.
True Beauty Is Within.
You Don’t Have to Be Thin.
Beauty in Plus Sizes.

Next comes Dr. Phil.  The talking head (and body) tells us, in all the wisdom of an experienced mental health doctor, that television is taking over our lives and we shouldn’t let its beauty standards and consumerism and “quick fixes” distract us from what matters most (as he talks to us from that very medium).

Then comes Oprah.  Not the show, because, for our purposes, we can mute the woman’s voice and watch her talk soundlessly and laugh carelessly from that venerable couch.  Because all we want to do is gape at the well-shaped, not-thin woman, so proud and confident in herself.

Last comes our epiphany, even if bitterly.
I am who I am, “love handles” and all.  And I’m fine with that.

Then…  our crying.  And blaming others for being so fixated on the superficial.

Tissues are stacked next to us on the couch, and we dab our teary eyes and blow our noses, overcome with a surge of emotion.  Despondent and inspired, we say to ourselves, People should love me no matter how I look!

“Your husband may love you unconditionally,” I once told an unhappy, overweight wife who shared this same sentiment.  “But he won’t desire you unconditionally.”

Here’s the truth about our repeatedly failed diets, exercise regimens, and starvation programs:  It’s not the diet or exercise program that failed.

And no, unless you’re aiming for that anorexic/bulimic skin-on-bones Kate Moss look, the problem is not even your metabolism, genes, “baby fat,” or “bad luck” (though starvation  or a self-imposed hunger strike may give you that skeleton appeal, if that’s what you’re going for).

As Oprah herself said when embarking on her own diet and exercise program:  It’s about changing your life.

But let’s be honest with ourselves momentarily, especially given the obsessive media fixation on superficial beauty (and our tendency to view this superficiality as a terrible vice).

There is something in the nature of how Allah created women (and the men) that places at least some value on the superficial, a lot of value in fact.  Though, it is true that the commercialism of “sex appeal” and the constant media bombardment of manufactured “beauty” are a bit superfluous and disingenuous to say the least.
 
Modern insanity of media-hyped vanity.  That’s what I call it.

But “vanity,” in the non-literal, non-sinful sense of the word is a part of human nature.  After all, Allah Himself is beautiful, and He loves beauty.  We learn this from the Sunnah.

Stories of the miraculous beauty of Prophet Yusuf ‘alayhi salaam, the uncommon feminine beauty of our Mothers Safiyyah, Zaynab, and ‘Ayesha, may Allah be pleased with them, give us a glimpse into the reality and power of the superficial even in spiritual life.

Of course, these wonderful human beings weren’t wonderful because they were beautiful.  But their beauty was not completely meaningless to those around them, men or women.

So in order to properly address our own desires for “looking good,” we need to embrace the idea that we should be beautiful—

With respect to how Allah created us, not others.   [Ever wondered about that du’aa you say when looking in the mirror?  O Allah, You have made my physical constitution good, so make my character good also. This is a du’aa for anyone who passes a mirror, not just for the Aya’s amongst us.]
…But back to our failed diet programs.

Let’s be honest again.

We’re not unintelligent beings.  We know where the cookie jar is, and we know where we put that salad bowl; and on most days, we don’t mix them up.

We know that excessive sugar, processed foods, and emotional eating are not good for us.  We know that exercising regularly and staying on task while “eating right”are almost always successful in cutting off excessive fat, firming up that stomach, and giving you the inspiration to smile from the heart and feel good about yourself.

And though laziness may be a problem for many of us (even for the Aya’s of the world), it’s likely not our greatest challenge in “getting ourselves together.”  Laziness itself is often a symptom of something else.
Truth be told, for most women (and men for that matter) who are struggling with obesity, the added weight is just a visible “side effect” of a problem coming from deep within.  For some, it’s a serious health problem at the root, but for most others it’s something much more serious as the culprit.

This is where our diet binges, the French Women Don’t Get Fat books, and afternoon talk shows won’t, and can’t, help us.

And no, you can’t even blame your husband (or family) for lack of support, or for buying those goodies (or wanting you to make those goodies) when you told them you’re trying to watch your weight.
As with any problem that’s adversely affecting our lives and psychological and physical well-being, we must look deep within to find the root cause.  And although “depression” is often labeled the culprit, even depression itself is a symptom of something else.

Allah didn’t create us depressed, and He didn’t create us unhealthy.

So it is upon us to find out why more and more of us are turning to antidepressants, sleeping aids, drugs and alcohol (yes, drugs and alcohol are a problem for many Muslims), illicit entertainment, and staring at ourselves in the mirror day after day hating what we see, or just struggling to get out of bed.

The problem is a deeply spiritual one.
But I say my prayers every day. I believe in Allah.  I’m not a bad Muslim.

Yes, I’m sure this is all true, for most of us.  But dismissing spirituality as the root cause of our health problems and despondency is like an unhealthy person denying her obesity by saying I take vitamins every day.  I believe in good health.  I’m not a bad person.

Do you have to be a “bad person” in order to benefit from healthier life choices?
Besides, no “good Muslim” would turn down the opportunity to improve spiritually.  Only “bad Muslims” do that.

Here are some simple pointers for improving your health, and curing the deeper problems affecting your emotional, psychological, and physical well-being:

• Make Salaah the foundation of your day.  In other words, every item on your daily schedule should be built around prayer.  So instead of saying, I’ll do such and such at six o’clock in the morning, you’ll say I’ll do such and such after Fajr, before Dhuhr, or after Maghrib and so on.
• Make it a point to actually pray during Salaah.  In other words, pay attention to what you’re saying and think deeply about your soul, your approaching death, your struggle to please Allah (and yes, it is a struggle).
• Increase the time you spend in rukoo’ and sujood, even if it’s only a few more seconds than usual.  Relax as you bow and prostrate in prayer, and avoid being a “prayer thief.” The Prophet, sallallaahu’alayhi wa sallam, taught that the worst thief is the one who steals from his prayer—by not completing the rukoo’ and sujood.
• Read Qur’an daily.  Set a daily minimum amount of time to read and/or a minimum number of pages to read, and stick to it.  Take the Qur’an to work, listen to it in the car, read it on the bus, at school, and any and everywhere.  And take time to reflect on what you’ve read.  Read it in your own language, and in Arabic.
• Engage in daily dhikr, especially the morning and evening supplications from the Sunnah.  You don’t have to say them all; just pick a few that are easy for you and say them after Fajr and before Maghrib (or right after sunset) each day.  Download them to your computer, iPod or phone; or just keep the small Hisnul-Muslim (Fortification of the Muslim) tucked in a pocket of your purse.  You can even visit the Makedua.com website daily.
• Make du’aa.  Make du’aa.  And make more du’aa.  Make these supplications daily, even if short.  And make them sincere and heartfelt.  Cry to Allah, beg of Him, and humble yourself before Him.  Allah fixes all things by simply saying “Be” and it’s done.
• If you can’t read the Qur’an in Arabic, with tajweed, learn.  Now.  [Okay, I can almost hear all the excuses of why you didn’t enroll (or stay) in this or that Qur’an program, or why your schedule won’t permit…blah, blah, blah…but save it.  I don’t buy it.  This is part of the reason we find ourselves in such muck in the first place: denial, and lying to ourselves, especially regarding our depraved spiritual states.   If you have time to talk on the phone, go to school or work, play with your kids, backbite all those people you can’t stand, “Like” all those silly things on Facebook, and update Farmville—or if you even have time to struggle with your chocolate or sugar cravings (and thus increase that non-Aya-like waistline), you have time to learn Qur’an, somehow somewhere.  And if you really believe the excuses you’ve invented for yourself, don’t talk to the computer screen or to yourself, talk to Allah.  He’ll help you find that Qur’an teacher or online class that fits your “super busy, I don’t have time for Qur’an” lifestyle.  If you really want to read His Book, you will.  Simple as that.]
• Give charity, regularly.  It doesn’t have to be an awful lot, and it doesn’t have to be with money or physical goods.  Give your time.  And you don’t even have to leave your home; in fact, I suggest that you don’t leave it.  Our greatest opportunity for good is most often literally right in front of us:  Smile at your children and hug them and listen while they speak.  Smile at your husband.  Hug him when he walks in the door, ask how he’s doing, and listen while he speaks (or rants J). And go that extra mile for him:  Look nice, dress nice, smell nice (even if you don’t feel nice), and don’t argue with or criticize your man! (Though it has been proven that women have all the solutions to men’s problems).  …Do all the things you know you should be doing anyway but have convinced yourself he (or your family) doesn’t deserve.
• Admit your faults and sins, to yourself and to Allah.  Every day.  And beg for forgiveness and reformation. And do something about it!
• Say you’re sorry to the people you’ve hurt, even if you think you’re right (or are absolutely sure).  (This includes your husband and children, sisters J).
• Reunite with your parents and family, especially if you’ve had an argument or are annoyed with them because they simply can’t seem to get things right, even if the standoff is related to Islam.  You can’t hope to please Allah if you don’t try your absolute best to please your parents, and keep those ties of the womb.
• Get up and pray Tahajjud in the last third of the night (or at least some time after ‘Ishaa), at least once each week.
• And, sisters, don’t look at your menstrual cycle as your “week off.”  Get on task by increasing your Qur’anic reading (you can read from a Qur’an with translation if you follow the scholarly opinion that you cannot touch the mushaf during your cycle).  Increase your dhikr and du’aa.  Even get up in the last third of the night to supplicate to Allah.  You don’t need wudhoo’ to raise your hands in supplication or to whisper a prayer while you’re cuddled under those covers.  And definitely don’t leave off your morning and evening du’aa this “vacation week,” or ever!
• Fast Mondays and Thursdays (or at least three times each month).  This purifies both the body and soul, and does wonders for helping you with that waistline too.  And no, you shouldn’t fast just to lose weight, but you can throw in that intention as a means to have a healthy, fit body with which to worship Allah and be grateful.  Remember Allah loves beauty, so there’s nothing wrong with fasting for the purpose of a healthy soul and physique.
• If you struggle with severe depression and/or have a very short attention span (or even repulsion or dread) for Qur’an or prayer, talk to someone knowledgeable in Qur’anic treatment and prophetic medicine.  This will give you a much deeper and more authentic understanding of your problem than will antidepressants or a “shrink.”

If you integrate even some of these things into your daily life, you’ll see changes immediately, with the help of Allah.

Not necessarily in your waistline, but in your heart.

And with a pure heart (or at least a heart being purified), you can think clearly and get your priorities straight.  Then you can get other things right in your life—your health and desired weight amongst them.


Umm Zakiyyah is the internationally acclaimed author of the novels If I Should Speak, A Voice, Footsteps, and Realities of Submission.  To contact her, write to ummzakiyyah@yahoo.com or join her Facebook page.

Copyright © 2010 by Al-Walaa Publications.  All Rights Reserved.

The Islamic Diet

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I think I have made mention of this topic in an earlier entry, but I was again reminded by a dear friend's email about 'the islamic diet' and so I decided to post it up here.

Islamic Diet

The Islamic diet is not only to help you lose weight, but also allows you to gain in deeds and improves your spirituality.

The prophet (P.B.U.H) was described to have had no belly even at the age of 63 and said obesity is the root of disease, modern medicine agrees. The message of Islam provides us with the solution with all our problems and this includes losing weight. All you have to do is follow the Sunnah….

The Amount of food:
The prophet (P.B.U.H) said the worse vessel the sons of adam fill is their stomach, and recommended that we should only eat when hungry and never reach satiety. Alhamduallah he (P.B.U.H) did not leave it ambiguous but defined the amount of food we should consume, the minimum being the amount we require to ‘keep our backs straight’ and maximum being ‘the third of our stomach’. Unfortunately for many of us it is very easy to perceive our whole abdomen to be our stomach, which of course is not true. The stomach can at maximum contain a litre of liquid, meaning that at maximum we should eat an amount of food which if liquidized should be around 333ml!!!

One of the main principles of good health is a balanced diet. Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) emphasized the habit of eating less as a method of preventing sickness and disease.

Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) said:

"Nothing is worse than a person who fills his stomach. It should be enough for the son of Adam to have a few bites to satisfy his hunger. If he wishes more, it should be: One-third for his food, one-third for his liquids, and one-third for his breath." - Tirmidhi & Ibn Majah


Times for food:
In the Sunnah it is mentioned that there is no time when you are not allowed to eat, except during prayer or while fasting. The prophet (P.B.U.H) had soaked dates first thing in the morning, which could be considered breakfast. There are also hadiths that mentions that he ate salads after Asur prayer. There is also the command if food is prepared and it’s time to pray Isha, to eat first. Other than that there is no strict adherence to certain times, and thus in other times it is about eating when hungry.

Method of eating:
The prophet (P.B.U.H) commented on his position when eating by saying ‘I only sit like the slave sits and eat like the slave eats’. He (P.B.U.H) sat on the floor when he ate, and warned from eating while reclined or supported. This is of great wisdom, as when one is reclined or supported the muscles of the chest and back relax, and affect the posture of the body and thus the food as it is swallowed. The position is also one of humility and remembrance of our relationship to the Creator of the food.

The prophet (P.B.U.H) ate with three of his fingers, the index, thumb and middle finger. This makes sure that only a small amount is eaten at a time, which helps make sure the food is chewed properly aiding digestion as well as restricting calorie intake. Using your fingers help you identify bones or other objects that might choke you, it also helps you make sure that the temperature of the food is right and is not too hot to cause you damage. There is clear prohibition in the Sunnah to taking food that is too hot. In fact too hot a drink or food is the punishment of the people of hell. Food that is too hot can burn your lips, tongue and inner organs.


Sharing:
Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H), demonstrated to his followers the pleasures of sharing as opposed to over-indulgence in the good things of life. The sharing of food with neighbours, relatives, friends, the needy, and the destitute is emphasized. Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah (P.B.U.H) saying:


"He is not a believer who eats to his fill but his neighbour goes without food." - Sahih Bukhari


Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) elaborated on the duty of the Muslim to suppress greed, especially in eating. This appears in a very specific situation reported by Ibn Umar, in which the Prophet (P.B.U.H) prohibited anyone taking two dates together before asking permission from his companions (sharing the meal with him) - Sahih Bukhari.


Mindset towards Food and eating:
As Muslims we see food as a means and not an aim. Our aim is the worship of Allah. It is a spiritual illness to keep your mind occupied with food. It is also a disease to always fulfill your food desires. When Omar (R.A) asked a man why he was in the market and replied to buy a certain food that he desired Omar (R.A) told him “do you do everything your nafs commands?”

While we have to be wary of allowing our passion for food to lead us to excess, nevertheless we do not have to just eat for survival. We are allowed to enjoy food and have personal preference and dislikes. The prophet’s (P.B.U.H) favourite food was honey, and he disliked eating the meat of lizards even though are halal.

The Quran mentions the food of paradise, and even how its’ residents will be given the meat of birds which they desire. So to like the meat of birds (chicken etc) is one of the descriptions of the people of paradise while we have to be wary of allowing our passion for food to lead us to excess, nevertheless we do not have to just eat for survival.

Sometimes some of us want to restrict the amount we eat, but when it comes to it, we fall and end up eating a lot. Now this according to spirituality is considered a mental defect, and the cure for it is this ayah. The repetition of this ayah (7 times before every meal)<>, and/or having this ayah somewhere where you can see it cures. In no time you will find that you do enjoy food and also are able to stop before going to excess.

"O Children of Adam! wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters." Quran (7:31)

Never Criticise Any Food

Food should not be criticised for any reason, despite personal disliking. Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) never criticised any food that was offered to him.

"The Prophet (P.B.U.H) never criticised any food (he was invited to) but he used to eat it if he liked the food, and leave it if he disliked it." - Sahih Bukhari


Eating Together

Eating with others bring about harmony and understanding among people. People are usually more relaxed when eating in company. Their minds are less absorbed in their daily activities and are free of worries. Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) brought the attention of Muslims to the importance of eating together


"Eat together and not separately, for the blessing is associated with the company." - Ibn Majah

(Note: 'Eating together' here does not imply mixed eating by males and females at parties or banquets):

May Allah s.w bless our beloved and noble Prophet Muhammad s.a.w
Insya Allah.

The jihad approach to battling with your weight

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

At first glance, the title of this post might sound ludicrous but I think it is appropriate.

Jihad, is an Arabic noun meaning "struggle" and is commonly found in the Quran in the form of "al-jihad fi sabillillah", meaning "striving in the way of Allah".

Surprisingly, Wikipedia gives a rather good sypnopsis of the various views regarding jihad. Being trained as a scholar, Wikipedia is not really seen as a credible source but this webpage has enough valid references to garner it some merit.

However, my main topic for the day is how I see battling with my weight a form of jihad. See, food, in excess becomes a form of gluttony and that in itself is a sin. Our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. has said that if you must eat more, then make sure you fill your stomach with 1/3 food, 1/3 water and 1/3 air.

Also, in my opinion, Allah has lent to us this vessel, in the form of our bodies for us to serve Him. And how can we do so with near perfection if our knees collapse due to our weight?

For every illness, there is a remedy and in the broadest sense, the illness of gluttony has to be remedied by watching what you eat and exercising.

I keep telling myself that I have to struggle to be healthy because of Allah, so I can do more prayers and have the stamina to do more fasts in His name. Yet, I fail miserably, day after day because my heart is not strong enough to resist temptations.

With two more weeks till Ramadhan, I can still utilize the gym facilities before they freeze my account. I pray that I can resist the urge to overeat when breaking fast.

Struggle struggle struggle... I've got to struggle with 20kg of excess weight...

Oh Allah, give me the strength!