Humbling reminder

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Today I came across this ayat in the Quran and thought it would be best to share it here. It reminded me about the Greatness of Allah and how we as humans must never forget that we need Him but He doesn't need us:

أَلَمْ تَرَ أَنَّ اللَّهَ خَلَقَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضَ بِالْحَقِّ ۚ إِن يَشَأْ يُذْهِبْكُمْ وَيَأْتِ بِخَلْقٍ جَدِيدٍ

 

Seest thou not that Allah created the heavens and the earth in Truth? If He so will, He can remove you and put (in your place) a new creation?

   وَمَا ذَ‌ٰلِكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ بِعَزِيزٍ

 Nor is that for Allah any great matter.

Just two lines... but so powerful. Masyaallah. I could literally 'hear' Allah saying the last line to Mankind. I actually said 'wow' after reading that line. It's like a slap to my face perhaps, as a reminder that our existence here is only because Allah wills it. Any difficulties and any ease which He gives to our lives are His decisions alone.

This reminds me of a video from youtube that I watched about a poor, blind old lady whom when interviewed about her poverty, never stopped praising God. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFqfVIxGPlY&feature=player_embedded

One of the questions that the reporter asked was: So Ummi, do you have any children? Do they come and visit you? And she said- Allah is always with me, I do not need anyone else.

Masyaallah... truly, the most grateful are those who get so little but are thankful for so much. I pray for that old lady and I also pray that I could attain that level of thankfulness for everything in my life.

Wallahualam Bissawab

Alhamdulillah, it's Ramadhan...

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Alhamdulillah... Ramadhan is here again.

I am thankful to Allah for the health that He has given to me and my family as well as the kindness and rezeki that He has blessed us with.

I am a little sad that I am unable to go for terawih today but insyaallah, I will be able to do so tomorrow.

Right now, I believe the spirits of the deceased are let free from their punishments in the grave and I know they are grateful for the 1 month of solace... and they will come to see us... to see if we still remember them; if we are children with iman or are we lost and break their heart... Someday after I'm gone, I will experience the same thing as well... and I pray that I will see my children and their children always remembering Allah...

May we be given the health and longevity to face the coming Ramadhan, for it will test our will power and iman to the greatest. I am thankful that this month is finally here.

Amin

Forgive me...

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I begin this entry with a bismillah... for I know that He always hears us- all that we say and all that we don't say. Only He understands the silences and understands all that we cannot hear.

Tomorrow is the start of Ramadhan... and I begin this holy month with a heavy heart... a heart laden with guilt, shame and sins. May Allah give me the strength to endure this magnificent month of Ramadhan... may He be most forgiving and merciful to His servants' pleas...

Today had been a long and painful day for me and my family... and it was very hard for me to emerge out of the disappointment realizing two things:

1) Allah has answered our prayers... He has kept my brother safe... He has protected him from harm and because I believe in Allah, I trust that He has willed this to happen to guide my brother back to the right path.

2) That my parents have to be stronger to be able to understand the above and not simply see His doings as a block in a person's lifetime. There is no trust in Allah... and no belief that He is the one most capable of showing to us all what is the right path... every difficulty He gave us is a lesson for us all... But did my parents get what that lesson was?

The lesson was that... we as the elders... as the guardians did not pray enough... for ourselves and for our loved ones... we did not doa enough and did not fear Allah enough... And our greatest mistake was that we did not guide him enough... Allah has given us the responsibility to guide and teach our young but we did not do it enough. But that is not to say that Allah is hard to please... He sees our efforts and I am sure He acknowledges them but He wants us to be better muslims and muslimahs... He is giving us the chance to increase our iman and our love for Him... so we should take it.

That is why when I saw my brother today, I did not scold him or beat him... neither did I cry... instead I asked if he has eaten and that he should sleep and rest until he's ready to talk.

Maybe now I understand that dream I had two days ago... when I was cradling a young boy (who looked like Aang by the way) and someone said I was spoiling him... but the boy was crying... and I still held him close even when I know he had done something bad... because I guess you will begin to see and understand problems and their solutions when you love a little more... in the name of Allah...

Therefore... I am sorry my little brother for I have not loved you enough... and I had not guided you enough... I thought that by showing you the things me and your brother do for Allah, you would be motivated to emulate them... but I guess I was wrong. So I will try... to reach out to you, as I have promised Him last night when I prayed that He'd keep you safe from harm.

Ya Allah, I am grateful that you have been kind and merciful to us and kept my brother safe... and for giving him the chance to return to the right path.

Amin.

Wallahualam Bissawab...

This is not a hotel

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

It is 2am and my youngest brother is not home. My mother is worried sick because she kept calling him but his phone keeps giving the 'number you've just called is unavailable'.

I know he thinks he's big enough, being 17 and all... but there are bad people out there who do not fear Allah and who are not kind... and my mother has every right to be concerned.

It's just... that sometimes I think he treats our home like a hotel; coming and going when he likes, without telling where or with whom. =( He doesn't even make the effort to call to say where he is or if he's coming late.

I told my mother that if he does get home, bolt the door and don't let him in but she says she has no heart to do that. But to me... it has come too much and I don't think that it is right for him to be doing this. =(

But still... I am worried. I am tired and if I have to go out and find him at 2am in the morning... I don't know what will happen. I don't know the roads well enough... and I might end up lost.

I am trying my best not to be angry... and that's why I am writing this... I pray for patience and faith that Allah will take care of my brother and protect him from harm... but He knows what we don't and He wills what He wills.

Is it right for me to beat my brother should he really come home late? Even Nabi s.a.w doesn't beat until the last resort. I do not want anger to fuel my concern... but I feel as if there is no other choice sometimes.

Oh Allah, give us the faith to stay vigilant, waiting for my brother to come home... Please God, keep him safe from harm....

Amin...

What has Facebook come to?

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Many times I've asked myself this question... especially lately when I start seeing more and more signs of disintegration of values and iman in the muslim community.

Women who once used the hijab are suddenly 'liberated' and prancing around without any in public... Girls who used to dress demurely are now in mini skirts and tights... and then there's also the ever increasing level of riak that Facebook simply feeds on- the extravagant holidays, the classy bags, shoes, exclusive dining places and so on...

Before I address the third point, I just want to say a few things about the first two-

It disgusts me deeply when someone wears the hijab then take it off then put it on when it's convenient for them... then why put it on in the first place? And the best part is when their parents are aware of this and do not say anything. I feel disgusted because these women actually believe they are more beautiful when they take it off to show it to the world... but what they are actually defiantly saying is: 'Look God. I'm fine without this scarf around my head which is what You asked of me, and hey, this is my body so I can do what I want to it'

Astaghfiruallah...

Then there's those who model on sexy dresses and all kinds of haram clothings... and insist that these are hijab friendly simply by adding a cardigan or pants etc...

How can the parents of these girls allow their daughters to wear these abhorrent garbs? And these parents are aware because their daughters are right beside them in family photos... I pray that Allah forgives these parents for not keeping His amanah; may He be lenient towards them and have mercy on them.

Last of all... Facebook has given the chance for everyone who is not strong enough to be a victim of their own sins. The desire to showoff.

At times, even I am guilty of this. These days when I do put photos up, I do not publish them so that no one knows and no one can comment on them unless they purposely went to my profile to browse my photos. On hindsight, perhaps I should put these photos on private mode or just for sharing with my brother and Hubtobe.

I am tempted to just delete my whole account for that matter... but I am holding out because I have many good, muslims and muslimah friends who are always sending me invitations to events and forums through facebook... and it is also a way for me to keep in touch with them.

But I just cannot see things like these and not feel sad and disturbed by them. =(

Allah, please forgive me for having these despicable bouts of anger and resentment towards these people. I am not like Hubtobe who is always so patient and kind and forgiving.

I'm going to put to private as much albums as possible.

Hubtobe tells me to doa for these people... and I will... after I doa for myself not to be too consumed by syaitan's whispers... I'm sorry I got angry. =( Only Allah has the right to be angry at his creations.

Wallahualam Bissawab...

On Learning...

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

اقْرَأْ بِاسْمِ رَبِّكَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ

Proclaim! (or read!) in the name of thy Lord and Cherisher, Who created-

(Surah 96)


How many of us know that the first ayat to be sent down to our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. is the one I've put above? In fact, I just learnt this fact in a history of islamic society class last semester. It was quite a shame, considering that I went to 6 years of madrasah and many more years of ngaji/quran reading. That only goes to show that you always learn something new everyday. =)

There were many things on my mind today, but mostly they centered around the issue of education, learning and knowledge.

First of all, today is Hubtobe's first day at school. He was having the jitters the whole day and even when I smsed him the doa before learning (abridged version), he still had butterflies in his stomach. I can't fault him really... he's not been in school for more than 5 years and he claims he's rusty. It also doesn't help that he's in the top university and I think that gives him alot of pressure. I can only pray for him daily that Allah opens up his heart and mind and let him be receptive to knowledge and learning. Insyaallah... I will keep praying for him...

Secondly, I followed my mother to 'meet the parents' session' at my youngest brother's school today. He really did badly for his last common test so it has become a cause of concern for all of us. My mother has very high expectations for her children but she can be reasonable... and she has been with my brother- she just wants him to pass; which is a 45/100 and he's struggling.

When I see the amount of stress and pressure my brother's giving my mom, it makes me afraid of having children. Will I be able to teach them and provide them the right guidance as willed by Allah? When children are born to us, they become a big responsibility that Allah has given and we must do right by Him.

But then, when we are no longer children; after we've baligh, we must be responsible for ourself and our own learning.

After nearly 10 years of not reading the quran on a daily basis, I've picked it up again in the past year and even went back to ngaji to learn tajwid all over again to perfect my reading. I listen alot to Imam Mishari's recitation and I use it as a guide to emote my reading as well. There is an ayat in the Al Quran telling us to read the Quran with 'tartil'. I'm not sure what the exact translation of that is in English, but it means similar to perfecting, with proper considerations of the holy text.

I hope someday Hubtobe would come and learn too. =) I have not heard him read much Quran but I am grateful he knows how to read. Alhamdulillah...

I hope that when we have children someday we would always emphasize on learning and knowledge as a form of ibadah. Of course knowledge for the good; in the name of Allah. I pray that we will all see that seeking knowledge is a lifelong goal because of Allah, and not some chore to get over in the education system. Insyaallah...

Wallahualam bisawub...

Innalillahi wa innalillahi rajiun...

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Yesterday I was on the bus and bumped into one of my ex secondary school friend who also happens to be in the same university as me now. So we were talking and catching up on stuff when she told me about a mutual friend of ours who has had a misfortune.

The father of this mutual friend of ours recently had a stroke, leaving him paralyzed and unable to speak or recognize his family. It so happen that this friend of ours went for an exchange programme and when she returned, her father did not even know who she was. That must have been so painful for her and family... and I can only imagine their torture. Innalillahiwainnalillahirajiun...

Although we were not close especially after we went to different classes in secondary three, I still will pray for her and her family to have the strength to get through this ordeal. Whether or not her father makes it through, I hope that she will not lose her faith in Allah... and I pray that Allah lessens the burden on her. See... she still has a year to go in uni and she still has younger siblings who are still schooling and i think her mother has been a housewife her whole life.

I feel very sad for her... and after hearing this news, I am grateful that my father has quit smoking for more than 20 years now... and that he is still healthy. Allah has given my family more rezeki by letting my father work overseas... and I can only pray that Allah, the sustainer of all life on earth, continue to bless us with such rezeki.

On this topic, I'd like to make a reference to this post I found online on how to use 'masyaallah', 'innalillah' and 'insyaallah' in the right context and not to misinterpret it.

Innalillahi wa innalillahi rajiun- from Him we come and to Him is the return of all.

Making Doa for others

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Recently, I found out that a co-worker of mine is an on-off hijab wearer. I found out when I was looking through her photos on facebook. I tried not to think about it but I was disappointed. So I told Hubtobe and he told me that I should not be upset with her for her transgressions, but instead I should pray for her; may Allah open her heart to wearing it fulltime. He said that at least she is trying to wear it than not at all.

Hubtobe is always like that... he likes to see the glass as half full rather than half empty; always seeing the good in people and believing that they can change.

At first I was hesitant to make doas for people whom I consider hypocrites. It's not just the on-off hijabies, but also those who wear the hijab but do not pray. They break my heart =( But the worst ones are those who do all the above and still brag about their knowledge of Islam.

But last night, I found some enlightenment. I was reading surah At-Taubah and the meaning scared me so much that I felt humbled and sorry for being upset with these people instead of praying for them to change.

"The Hypocrites, men and women, (have an understanding) with each other: They enjoin evil, and forbid what is just, and are close with their hands. They have forgotten Allah. so He hath forgotten them. Verily the Hypocrites are rebellious and perverse." (Surah 9, Verse 67)

I do not wish for anyone to ever be left behind or forgotten by Allah. Truly, nothing is more devastating than that.

“Tidak beriman salah seorang di antara kalian sampai dia mencintai untuk saudaranya apa yang dia cintai untuk dirinya sendiri.” (HR. Al-Bukhari dan Muslim dari Anas bin Malik)

“Doa seorang muslim untuk saudaranya (sesama muslim) tanpa diketahui olehnya adalah doa mustajabah. Di atas kepalanya (orang yang berdoa) ada malaikat yang telah diutus. Sehingga setiap kali dia mendoakan kebaikan untuk saudaranya, maka malaikat yang diutus tersebut akan mengucapkan, “Amin dan kamu juga akan mendapatkan seperti itu.”

The above two hadith seek to remind me that selfishness is not the way of Islam. Making doa for someone without his/her knowledge gives pleasure to Allah i.e. Mardhatillah such that each time you make doa for a fellow Muslim, the angels say 'amin' for you. Masya'allah!

So back to my co-worker. I prayed to Allah such that He would open her heart and guide her back to the right path once again, to love her as He has loved all the people with Iman... and you know what? I saw her for the first time in our workplace musollah during Zuhur today. Masya'allah... I was so touched.

She never enters there except to adjust her clothes or tudung... but this afternoon I saw her there and her slippers were also wet from ablution.

Allah really hears our prayers...


Reference: http://al-atsariyyah.com/?p=1724