Soulmates; Is there 'The One' for you?

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Let me start off first with this ayat from the Quran in hopes that we are always grateful to Him for everything and that we are put far away from those who sin, even if it is within ourselves.

 رَبِّ بِمَا أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ فَلَنْ أَكُونَ ظَهِيرًا لِّلْمُجْرِمِينَ

O My Lord! Since You have bestowed favours on me, I will never more be a helper for sinners (28:17).

So, to the topic of the day- 

Does the concept of 'The One' exist in the Muslim vocabulary? How do we make sense of this when Muslim men are allowed to marry up to four wives and that technically, it is forbidden for Muslims to date or see their future spouse before marriage?

Marriage is such an important step that our blessed Prophet (s) spoke of marriage as being `half the religion': `Whoever has married has completed half of his religion; therefore let him fear Allah in the other half!' (Bayhaqi)

This begs the question- Why? 

There's a very simple reason for this. Yes, there is 'The One' for us when we seek marriage with someone... and that 'One' is Allah. 

When I first thought about this idea; it seemed counter-intuitive but then I began to ask myself this: Why do we do anything? We do everything in this world because of Allah and for His pleasure alone. 

Therefore, when you meet someone who reminds you of Allah and who loves you solely for Allah, then you know that this person is therefore right for you. He/she becomes the channel or the bond that helps you escalate your love for Allah through your love for each other. Loving your spouse is loving Allah's creation and thus loving Allah. Furthermore, if your spouse follows the sunnahs of the Prophet closely; the remembrance of our Prophet s.a.w is also another way to build our love for Allah. 

Therefore, do not be swindled by the popularized notions of love professed on Valentine's Day. This [sick] notion of finding 'the one' has not stopped divorce from happening; in fact it has increased the rate of divorce, esp in Singapore. Why? Coz couples realise 'oh, he/she's not the one. Move on'.

‎ 

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَ‌ٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect [30:21]

In another entry here, I mentioned that these 'Signs' always seek to return to the source, which is Allah, the Creator. So what does this tell us? Allah's Signs of His love for us is when we feel love for our spouse because He had put it there. But this love belongs to Him and as such, we must constantly remember to return that love to Him; through our daily ibadahs and also through our daily interactions with our family, our spouse, our children.

It's very simple really. Insyaallah, He will guide those who believe.

O Allah, grant the Muslim youth (men) pious and righteous wives, and make from their offspring Muslims who will rise the banner of Islam, and carry the Quran (in their hearts), and who will order good and forbid evil.


O Allah, grant the daughters of the Muslims pious and righteous husbands, and make them pious, obedient (to Allah and their husbands), repentance, not showing themselves (wearing hijjab).


O Allah, grant the Muslim youth (men) the chastity of Prophet Yusuf (AS), and grant the daughters of the Muslims the purity of Mary (Mariam (AS)).


Amin

Humbling reminder.

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I have nothing much to say today except that you read this article:

http://hamidswisdom.blogspot.com/2010/09/nothing-is-wrong-with-this-marriage.html

It really humbles me, masyaallah. May Allah bless the writer for sharing this anecdote with us.

Remembrance

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

A friend of mine of facebook posted this:

A sign of someone whom Allah loves is that when you see him/her, you remember Allah." - Hina Khan-Mukhtar

And it made me think of all the people whom reminds me of Allah... Masyaallah...

Weird Questions

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I think my mother is ready to see me married off. =)
She asked me why have I not asked Hubtobe to come? Lol. Then she goes to say, she doesn't think his mom would come here. Well... you'd never know. =)

Lately she's been wanting to ask me two weird questions.

She hasn't asked me this question yet because she says she's afraid I'm going to scold her and/or ignore her.  

But I know what that question is:

Why did I break up with my ex-bf?

I am surprised she's even asking me this question because I thought she of all people would know best. But then again, I am a very private person with my emotions especially to my family members.

Then the second question is:

Why do I like Hubtobe so much? He's [put in all imperfections here] but why do you still like him ah?

Again, I'm surprised she doesn't see why. =)

Another thing she's worried is because Hubtobe and I are quite related and she worries that if we were to break off, then it'd be awkward if we met each other at family events etc. I wish she would not think like that... because Allah knows what's best for us and our religion. If He deems it best for our family, then it is and it will happen. 

Allah has answered both our prayers. I know He has. Only that I don't know what's that answer. But I believe that Allah knows best and in Him alone I put all my faith and trust. In Him alone I put my hopes and my dreams. And for Him alone I strive for excellence in all knowledge, my love, my family and my life. 

Amin.

Hurt

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

It's the second day of Eid and things are not looking good at home. Ya Allah, please forgive me for saying this but my dad is a constant complainer and never helps out around the house. It gets to a point where even I am so frustrated with him that I wish I could just raise my voice.

He's been complaining that no one wants to come visit us for Eid... but when he found out we were having guests, he gave an excuse to go out so he wouldn't have to entertain them. Astaghfiruallah... He bitches [yes he does] about every single relative of my mom's side who annoys him or whom he's jealous of etc. One of my uncles was talking about his grandson who made it to one of the top junior colleges in Singapore and my dad bitched later in the car about how arrogant my uncle was. And I was like.... get a grip please! He was just proud of his grandson! How many people can make it to that school? 

He complains about the food, he complains about housework when asked to do... He complains about every little thing and it's making me very annoyed. He keeps quarreling with my mother and knowing how tired my mother is from working so hard, it makes me very angry and hurt.

I wish I could tell him that our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w helps out with the housework, never complains about his food and above all never bitches about other people even when they were unkind to him. But it is not my place to tell my father that or is it?
It makes me scared to get married sometimes when this happens. =(

A thief?

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Subhanallah... I found this on one of the Fb pages and I think it is very good. I wish that someone had shown me this when I was younger. But hopefully I could use it for my own children when they get to the stage where they start noticing the opposite sex and all.

The captions:

The girl says: Ya Allah, please protect my heart lest I steal his iman without me realising it. I pray to You, Oh God to strengten my iman and his iman.

The boy says: Subhanallah... she's so beautiful. Please fortify the iman in my heart. Let my presence be a source of strength to this girl's iman. Don't let me be the reason for a decrease in her iman.