Dependence

Today I visited one of my aunts and we were talking about another aunt who has been through a lot in her life and there was one thing that my aunt said that struck at my heart:

She said that when Allah has chosen someone very special, He will put forth in front of this person obstacle after obstacle; taking away each and every one of the persons that he/she depends on such that the only one left to depend on is Him.

And it made me tear.

The aunt we're talking about is a cancer patient but beyond that, she has lost all three of her precious daughters -the first was taken at a young age, then the second is mentally ill and the third and the one whom she put all her hopes for passed away a few years back. That daughter was only 40 then.

It's a sad story and yet this aunt never shed a tear or blamed God or anyone for everything that has happened to her. She's cancer stricken and yet she cares for her mentally ill daughter and does her best to support them both as well as provide an anchor to her grandchildren (those from her late daughter).

A pious woman who truly deserves our prayers.

It just made me think - sometimes we think that God has forgotten us when He puts before us so much hardship... but what if He is truly thinking of us every step of the way; that's why He has carefully planned these obstacles so we will always seek Him in remembrance.

Wallahualambisawab

Alhamdullilah, we made it back in ONE piece!

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Today, my friends and I did our yearly visiting to each others' house... only that this year I am driving. =) 

I must say that driving the whole day is very tiring... especially when you have to focus on the road and on the conversations and on a 101 things at the same time.

But, Alhamdulillah, I managed to drive relatively calm, with no mishaps. My friends were so comfortable they ended up sleeping... but I am grateful for my friend sitting beside me who kept me alert by talking constantly.

I think I mentioned in another entry about how I'm so grateful to have friends such as these. They all pray on time and never miss their prayers. They are really good influence- socially, culturally and religiously. Truly, I am almost a complete opposite of what I used to be back in year one... and yet my friends stayed true to me; always patient and never judging.

Anyway, today at one of my friend's house, we played this game called Kalimaat by Baba Ali. Here. It's kinda like charades... but with a twist. And it also tests our knowledge on Islam as well as our memory skills. It turned out that I do have a good memory. Hahahaha. But what amazed me was that, 4 years back, I probably wouldn't know how to describe in a charades the word 'tirmidzhi' or 'miswak' or 'caliphs'. Yes... I am that embarrassingly un-learned. Masyaallah.

But Alhamdullillah, I am a better muslim now and I have my friends to thank for that. I only pray that our friendship will last till we have our own kids someday. Amin.  

Eid Mubarak!

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Alhamdulliah, Allah has allowed us to live through the Ramadhan to meet Syawal. 

I don't particularly like Hari Raya because of all the wastage and excessiveness that people including me go through. We buy too much tidbits and too much delicacies hoping that guests would come... but people don't usually eat so much... so it's just for show.

Then of course when we all congregate at my grandma's house, it is very disturbing to see the clothes that people wear... see through, body hugging... and the excessive make up and made up nails... It saddens me.

But apart from that, I am happy to have met some of my aunts and uncles whom I love so much... plus I got to see my granny and kiss her.

I'm just waiting for the chance to go out with Hubtobe for Hari Raya and take photos with him. =) I miss him too. Hari raya will be different in the coming years once we become permanent additions to each other's families.

A little Housekeeping

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I finally did it- I changed the layout of my blog!!!

It was a bit of a heartache at first when I changed it... but now I feel that it's more... me.

I love a good cup of coffee anytime and it also represents me sitting down, pondering and musing over stuffs. Coffee as a stimulant for my musings. Heh. 

I also added a few more blogs to my following. I'm really happy to be able to have access to all the other muslimahs out there; tap on their wisdom and experiences. Alhamdulillah.

The house is finally in a clean condition- windows cleaned, toilets scrubbed, floors vacuumed and mopped, mirrors and ornaments wiped, bedsheets changed and curtains hung. Truth is, it is tiring to do all these by myself but I do it because of Allah and I do not whine when my mother asks me to do it. I only get angry when my brothers and my dad are sleeping away or watching tv and not helping out. But then again, more pahala for me!

It's 6.15pm and my mother has finally finished cooking. Alhamdulillah. She has to cook for my grandma too since everyone will be congregating there tomorrow. She's been up for 48 hours straight but I know she's doing this for her family and for Allah. May Allah reward her for her efforts.

I am hoping perhaps I could go for Eid prayers tomorrow morning. My dad wants to leave home after subuh prayers. I would love to go but I am not sure if the mosque they are going to will have space for females to pray (sometimes the men use the female area too) and also, my mom might need my help tomorrow to iron the clothes and prepare lunch for everyone. But I will ask her later.

I am quite upset that I missed the last 7 days of Ramadan because of my monthly crimson visit. I felt so lost, being unable to perform my solat, my terawih and even the qiamulail prayers at night. So maybe that's why I turn to doing housework and helping my mother out as much as I can to make up for it.

As Ramadan finally comes to an end, I feel very sad knowing that the spirits of our dead have to return to their graves to continue with their torture. When the takbir is sound on the last day of Ramadan, it brings tears to my eyes- for those who have passed on and for myself.

These past two Ramadan I have asked myself what have I done this year that was different and better from the last?

Alhamdulillah, I think this year I have become a better person; always in remembrance of Allah and slowly relearning as much as I can about my religion. Insyaallah, next year will be better.

May we begin this Syawal with much forgiveness for our past sins to each other.

Amin.

The men don't get it....

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Men should help out more at home... no matter how tired they are from work... because women who work also have to go home and work some more in their unpaid household labour. Aaii... I could go on about the sociological implications of that but in another entry perhaps.

But women, having been exposed to chemicals used to do laundry and for household cleaning as well as the occasional cuts while cooking and all that, this is what happens to their hands:


They crack.
They peel.
They get sore.
They get rashes.
They get swollen.







Don't you pity our mothers, wives and sisters?

The meaning of عيد الفطر

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Contrary to popular belief, Eid ul Fitr, or Hari Raya Aidilfitri as it is known here in Singapore, is NOT the Muslim new year. I even saw this mistake in a scholarly paper written by a Malay whom I will assume is Muslim as well.

Many here are unaware just the same that the real Islamic new year is in the month of Muharram, not Syawal. Yet, the level of celebration our community devote to Aidilfitri is at times superfluous.

In retrospect, Eid ul Fitr should be celebrated at a smaller scale as compared to the 'Greater Eid' which is Eid ul Adha...

Eid ul Fitr simply marks an end to the month of Ramadhan... and although we celebrate it with joy, we must not forget that it is also a sad goodbye to the most beautiful month in Islam and also it is a sad parting for the souls who have to return back to the grave and face their continued punishments.

The reason why I'm bringing this up is because I was a little angry this morning when I heard the donation drive advertisement on radio. There was a small boy who was crying, saying that he wanted new clothes for the coming Hari Raya but his mom says they can't afford coz they're poor and their father is sick. Then the boy says that he too wishes to live a life of means like his friends. Then the DJ says that we should help these families so that they too can have a meaningful Aidilfitri.

The advertisement disturbs me on 2 levels:

First- Hari Raya does not equal to new clothes every year. Are you telling me that these people, who receive the donations every year desire to buy new clothes every year? Then they're much more well off than I am for I only buy a new set of baju kurung every 3-5 years. Astagfiruallah.

Second- It reminded me of a family I know whom, upon receiving alms, would spend quite a lot on new clothes...
The money that you receive from this donation drive is meant to cover you for a few months... but sometimes they blow it all on just Hari Raya. =(

When the boy says that he too wishes to be well off like his friends... I don't know if I should pity or feel upset with him. There is alot to be grateful for, even when you are poor. You should be grateful that Allah has willed you to wake up another day, so that you can strive to work or study hard for rezeki.

My mother used to say that we should not be jealous of our friend's wealth or wish to be like them. Instead we should be jealous of those who have more ilmu than us; especially knowledge in religion and we should try to learn as much as we can from them. That is what we should strive for... not compare ourselves to the financial status of others then lament at our own state and blame God for it.

I remembered a story about an Imam (I can't remember which one now) who would cry when he saw a poor person and also cry when he saw a rich person. He said that the poor person, being poor never stopped praying to Allah, asking for halal rezeki and seeking His protection. While the rich person, always prays to Allah, to give his thanks and show his gratitude for all that He has given.

So that is why, in the recent years, I begin to realise that Hari Raya is not a day to show off who has the most expensive or branded handbag or who has lost the most weight or who has the prettiest looking outfit. I am grateful to be covered in whatever baju kurung or abaya that I have and that the hijab covers me inside and out. I go to the elders house to seek forgiveness and meet my relatives... so for me... materials are possessions of this world.

And that... is enough for me.