Interesting article

This is written by a feminist professor in response to an article in the newspaper:

Jun 8, 2011

Disturbed by judgment, says Aware

WE REFER to last Friday's report ('Divorce and the attractive woman') and the judgment rendered by the High Court in this case.

The High Court took the view that it was relevant for a judge to take into account the attractiveness of a wife in determining her chances of remarriage when exercising its discretion on whether to grant lump sum or monthly maintenance. The Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware) is surprised and disturbed by this judgment.

While it may be valid to take into account a person's imminent prospects of marriage - for example, where there is evidence that a party intends to marry another party - it surely is not right for a court to go down a speculative line of reasoning as to whether a person, based on her looks, personality, ethnicity, nationality or relationship history, is likely to remarry.

It is, moreover, problematic to assume that an attractive woman is more likely to marry. What are the criteria for deciding who is attractive? Whose criteria are applied?

And on what basis are we to establish a connection between this alleged attractiveness and remarriage?

We hope that this judgment, which dealt with the issue of the bias of the judge in deciding the issue of maintenance, will not be used as a precedent to support such a line of inquiry in future cases relating to maintenance.

This would result in women being penalised and discriminated against if they do not fit normative - and indeed subjective - notions of beauty.

Teo You Yenn (Ms)
Board Member
Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware)

What do I have to say?

The most fair of all judgement is based in the Quran and even in situations that are frowned upon -such as divorces, everything has been laid out inside the Holy Book where true judgements are reserved for Him alone. 

It is most shocking to know that a civil court takes into account a woman's attractiveness (or not) when deciding her maintenance. Who decides what is attractive? What are the criteria and is there a reason behind why one woman is considered attractive and the other isn't? 

Most importantly -Is the court saying that if a woman is not attractive = it's her own fault? 

A woman is married not just for her beauty. 

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust. 

I suppose you can put a woman's intellect under her property/beauty... so a man might find a woman attractive because she's smart, funny and has a witty personality. 

Thus, I concur with the letter's last line because who are we to penalize God's creations? Surely He has his plans for everything. 

Walluhualambissawab....

Being a couple

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Alhamdulillah, Praise be to Him, we have made it through to the 16th day of Ramadan.

First of all, I'd like to put a quote I took from this blog entry :

"Jauhilah perhubungan cowo dan cewek (bahasa Jawa) sebelum kahwin, baik apapun bentuk perhubungan itu sama ada hubungan jiwa apalagi hubungan fizikal. Sedemikian banyak kemanisan yang dikecap antara hubungan dua jantina sebelum kahwin, sedemikian banyaklah kemanisan yang akan ditarik Allah sesudah di alam perkahwinan. Malanglah! Betapa manisnya masa cinta sebelum kahwin, hanya pahit dan sepah yang tinggal selepas kahwin, semua madunya telah dihisap dengan rakus dan tamak sebelum kahwin."

[ Stay away from relationships, be it emotional or physical, between male and female as long as you are not married. For as many sweetness that is shared between the couple before marriage, Allah will take as much sweetness from them after marriage. How unfortunate! No matter how sweet love is before marriage, only bitterness is left after marriage; all it's nectar sucked off by greed and gluttony before marriage]

I guess this entry is sparked off by an incident that happened last night at my cousin's birthday celebration. I must say that I was thoroughly surprised and happy that it was a cozy family affair that made me feel really comfortable and blessed.

It was very sweet to see my cousin and her husband around each other. Sometimes, I can't believe that they're already married. And I know they are waiting for their lives to be filled with the joy of being parents. And she reminded me about something very important yesterday-

That she and her husband are now halal and it struck me so hard how I envy that. For years in our lives before nikah, everything forbidden between a man and a woman is sinful and frowned upon by Allah. But everything after that, brings Him pleasure and we even get pahala for it.

Masyaallah... I'm sure no one wishes to have their marriage wrecked with unhappiness because Allah has taken away all the sweetness away because of their transgressions before marriage. And it made me also worry for my other loved ones who have yet to mend their ways and seek refuge in Him.

And so... I am looking forward to the end of this semester... and I put all my faith and yakin in Allah for He is the best of all planners.

Amin.

My darling friend is getting married!!!

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I just received a mail on facebook from one of my darling friends telling me that she's getting married!! Oh my goodness! I was so happy that I started laughing and crying at the same time. It's so unexpected! But Alhamdullilah for her... Allah has decided for her that she would get married at the end of this year and Insyaallah everything will go as plan.

My friend is a very beautiful lady and quite coveted by men. She's half dutch and half malay so you can imagine how beautiful she looks.

I am very thrilled really and I hope that Allah will protect her and her fiance and grant them with happiness and a blissful marriage.

Amin