Role Models for our Daughters

 

 "In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

As always, the only things that are meaningful on Facebook are my Daily Islamic reminders. Here's a post that I'd like to share:

What do you teach your daughters? Do you allow them to act like Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Rhianna and others? Or do you encourage them to aspire to be the best of women. We are told, "The best women of mankind are four: Mariam daughter of `Imran, Assiya wife of Pharaoh, Khadija daughter of Khuwailid, and Fatima the daughter of the Messenger of Allah" (Bukhari/Muslim). Give your daughters proper role models!

Of course, with this said; it is also equally important that the mother acts as a role model as well. While we tell our daughters to follow the path of these wonderful Muslim women, we must also uphold all those values that these women in history have shown to us.

I expect alot from my children (insyaallah, when I have them). I expect them to be good muslims who establish regular prayers and fast and who have equal interest in acquiring knowledge of both this world and the next. I know they will be naughty and stubborn at times and I know they will be bombarded by all these bad influence of Lady Gaga, Rhianna and the likes. It will be hard to raise our daughters and sons in the coming future, but as parents, we must always try our best.

Always remember that our daughters will one day become mothers who will then have their own daughters and the cycle continues. Women have always been responsible for the socialization of children and also the imparting of values and knowledge.

Being a teacher

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Some time back, a friend of mine shared an incident about how she met her former professor who, when told that she was training to be a teacher, said that 'you wasted my time'. That must really hurt my friend alot.


This friend of mine is a really intelligent muslimah and one of the sisters whom I look up to. So when I read about her defense on teaching, I felt conflicted. One one hand, I agree with her professor that after four years of training to be a journalist, it becomes such a waste that one cannot contribute back into the field that lacks so much female muslim voices. But on the other hand, I agree and I also support this sister in her reasons for becoming a teacher.

I quote: And now after graduation, at this juncture, as I reflect upon my role as God's Creation and in the grander scheme of things, I feel that being a teacher is the best way for me to make some change in this wonky world. Many people say teachers become teachers because they feel the most powerful in the classroom, because they have 'no other jobs', because because because... But I'd like to say that the feeling of being able to bring younger individuals on a journey, to make them learn and learn with them, is a beautiful one.

As I seat here at NIE, trying to comprehend what has just happened to me, I realise I have the better option of being in control of my learning. That God has given me the best faculties to make sense of this world. And I hope the person realised I actually didn't waste the person's time.

In fact, the person has helped me to realise the dimensions of the larger goal I have in life.

I didn't waste your time. You were one of the people who made me into a better someone.

Masyaallah... [by the way, if you're reading this, please don't mind that I quote this from you]

As for me, many people ask me "What are you going to do after you graduate?" and seriously I don't like being asked that... Whatever I want to be or choose to want to be, are all hinged upon Allah's decisions...

Many people assume that I would also go into teaching... and many more tell me that I should. And I tell them that I cannot teach children whom I have no emotional connection with... I cannot teach them for a year or two or three and watch them go away into their own lives without me beside them. But I can teach adults... because they are responsible for their own learning and they are of equal standing to argue with. Surely one cannot expect a 7 year old child to defend himself on why he chooses to colour the bread black instead of brown or beige?

As a woman and as a Muslim, I feel there is more that I can do for the world and I want to contribute back with a greater force than if I were to be a teacher. There are already many sisters in the teaching fraternity... but how many have stepped up to be leaders of the country? or leaders of the judicial systems? win a Nobel prize? Not many...

I'm not saying I am hoping to do all those things... but for me... that's a starting point to consider the value of my future.

Alhamdullilah, we made it back in ONE piece!

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Today, my friends and I did our yearly visiting to each others' house... only that this year I am driving. =) 

I must say that driving the whole day is very tiring... especially when you have to focus on the road and on the conversations and on a 101 things at the same time.

But, Alhamdulillah, I managed to drive relatively calm, with no mishaps. My friends were so comfortable they ended up sleeping... but I am grateful for my friend sitting beside me who kept me alert by talking constantly.

I think I mentioned in another entry about how I'm so grateful to have friends such as these. They all pray on time and never miss their prayers. They are really good influence- socially, culturally and religiously. Truly, I am almost a complete opposite of what I used to be back in year one... and yet my friends stayed true to me; always patient and never judging.

Anyway, today at one of my friend's house, we played this game called Kalimaat by Baba Ali. Here. It's kinda like charades... but with a twist. And it also tests our knowledge on Islam as well as our memory skills. It turned out that I do have a good memory. Hahahaha. But what amazed me was that, 4 years back, I probably wouldn't know how to describe in a charades the word 'tirmidzhi' or 'miswak' or 'caliphs'. Yes... I am that embarrassingly un-learned. Masyaallah.

But Alhamdullillah, I am a better muslim now and I have my friends to thank for that. I only pray that our friendship will last till we have our own kids someday. Amin.  

Dilemma of the Knowledge Seeker

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Masyaallah, this is such a belated entry! But before I forget, here are some of the pointers that I took down from the forum held at the Sultan Mosque. 

 

One of the speakers, Ustadz Noor Deros in particular really impresed me, because of the level of his intellectual provocations. He is currently an Executive at the Muslim Thinker Department at En-Naem Mosque. He graduated from Madrasah Al-Aljunied Al-Islamiah, Singapore and had furthered his studies at Al-Azhar University with a Bachelor of Arts, Islamic Creed & Philosophy.

So his main argument about seeking knowledge is to take it as a challenge; demystify yourself and see what is beyond the apparent.

For example: When Allah commanded His creations to prostrate to Nabi Adam a.s., what exactly were they prostrating to?

“So, when I have made him and have breathed into him of My Spirit, do ye fall down, prostrating yourselves unto him. So the angels fell prostrate, all of them together.”

- Al-Hijr 29-30

Therefore, Iblis who refused to prostrate was only seeing what was apparent; i.e. the physical body of Nabi Adam a.s. and not the spirit that had been infused in his body by Allah s.w.t.

To which Ustadz Noor then explained that the root of 'Ilm is 'alam which can roughly be translated as our natural surroundings or in his defination 'a sign'. And indeed our surroundings are signs of Allah's creations and thus it is apt.

عِلْمٌ  comes from the word عَلَمٌ which means; a sign.

And the spirit [ which Allah has breathed into Man] reads these signs and seek to return to It's source which is Allah. Masyaallah....

And how can this be further explained?

When we learn, we are exposed to   العلم

which can mean two things- knowledge

or it can mean the Introduction.

When Allah shares with us His secrets and knowledge, He is actually introducing Himself. In His kitab-kitab, in His creations and so on.

Therefore, if you see that knowledge is ultimately a method to learn about Allah and be closer to Him, then you have succeeded in gaining that knowledge as a form of ibadah.

Insyaallah....

Children are watching [hearing and listening]

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Recently, a friend of mine shared this video with me about how children are always imitating their parents; watching their every movement and listening to their words. To their subjective consciousness, their parents are reality and everything that their parents do or say are usually right.


Here's the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3WioZcjbys

Here's a quote I took from this website about mistakes that parents make when raising children:

Many parents do not realize how observant and absorbing a child is. They will talk in front of him forgetting that he is present, almost as though he is a piece of furniture - deaf and dumb. But a child listens and absorbs, often ponders over and sometimes repeats, what he hears. Thus when a parent says something about a particular thing or person, and then says something different to someone else, the child is introduced to being two-faced. A parent may rant against someone, and say he dislikes him immensely. Yet when he meets the same person, he is very nice to him and shows no sign of his anger. Although to a certain degree this may be necessary, for we cannot show our disagreements openly, it is not necessary to indulge in hypocritical behavior. A hypocrite is one who will be very sweet to the face, but will stab from the back. Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a) says: The worst of the servants (of Allah) is one who has two faces and two tongues. He praises his brother-in-faith when he is present, and eats him when he is absent.

A child should not be exposed to such behavior. He believes that his parent is always right, and to see such two faced behavior is a disillusionment and a wrong message.

The reason why I'm writing this entry is perhaps because I am disturbed by some of the things that I've been observing for the past year or so.


- It saddens me a lot when parents don't insist on prayers being done on time; skipping prayers when it suits their timetable and doing it only when they have the time. If one doesn't feel crippled after he/she overslept and missed fajr prayers, then he/she is probably needs to improve on their iman and ibadah.


-being vicious, back-biting individuals is another. Talking about others' downfall, calling your own children stupid or other degrading terms serve as a kind of doa for them. -sigh-


Today someone said this to me: "If you want to try to islamify me, then you are better off going to the jungle and making muslims out of the natives. I am already a Muslim, why do you need to tell me what is right or wrong?"


Astaghfiruallahal'azim...


Hubtobe once told me that when a makmum had approached one of the Imams at a mosque to correct his Al-Fatihah and the Imam was driven to tears; humbled by his minute mistake.


No one escapes from mistakes and every criticism or advice [whether you think its right or wrong] should be used as a point of reference to improve yourself.


The Holy Prophet (s) is reported to have said, “The inheritance of Allah, the exalted, from His believing servant, is a child who will worship Him after him (his death).”
 

Alhamdulillah, Allah has opened my heart and my mind to correct the wrongs that my parents have influenced me in the past. I am not discrediting them, for they have raised me well; sending me to madrasah and quran reading classes. I only pray that they could increase their Iman and remember Allah at all times. Insyaallah, we can all be better Muslims...

Amin


Allah knows best.

Humbling reminder.

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I have nothing much to say today except that you read this article:

http://hamidswisdom.blogspot.com/2010/09/nothing-is-wrong-with-this-marriage.html

It really humbles me, masyaallah. May Allah bless the writer for sharing this anecdote with us.

Out with the folks

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

It was a normal Tuesday.


Mom decided to head to IMM and do some grocery shopping which I and Hubtobe absolutely LOVE! Only that Hubtobe has been so busy lately that we haven't had time to do much grocery shopping together these days.

So me, my mom and my dad went down to the Giant hypermart to do our groceries and my dad was saying how he was craving for Thai food. So we decided to go to Bali Thai which I personally recommended to my parents. And indeed the food was superb and service was excellent.

Here are some of the photos of what we ate:

[right]

Pineapple rice,
Mango salad
Thai green curry

[below]

Tom Khai Ga- similar to Tom yam except that coconut milk has been added. Yum!

Remembrance

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

A friend of mine of facebook posted this:

A sign of someone whom Allah loves is that when you see him/her, you remember Allah." - Hina Khan-Mukhtar

And it made me think of all the people whom reminds me of Allah... Masyaallah...

Weird Questions

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I think my mother is ready to see me married off. =)
She asked me why have I not asked Hubtobe to come? Lol. Then she goes to say, she doesn't think his mom would come here. Well... you'd never know. =)

Lately she's been wanting to ask me two weird questions.

She hasn't asked me this question yet because she says she's afraid I'm going to scold her and/or ignore her.  

But I know what that question is:

Why did I break up with my ex-bf?

I am surprised she's even asking me this question because I thought she of all people would know best. But then again, I am a very private person with my emotions especially to my family members.

Then the second question is:

Why do I like Hubtobe so much? He's [put in all imperfections here] but why do you still like him ah?

Again, I'm surprised she doesn't see why. =)

Another thing she's worried is because Hubtobe and I are quite related and she worries that if we were to break off, then it'd be awkward if we met each other at family events etc. I wish she would not think like that... because Allah knows what's best for us and our religion. If He deems it best for our family, then it is and it will happen. 

Allah has answered both our prayers. I know He has. Only that I don't know what's that answer. But I believe that Allah knows best and in Him alone I put all my faith and trust. In Him alone I put my hopes and my dreams. And for Him alone I strive for excellence in all knowledge, my love, my family and my life. 

Amin.

Hurt

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

It's the second day of Eid and things are not looking good at home. Ya Allah, please forgive me for saying this but my dad is a constant complainer and never helps out around the house. It gets to a point where even I am so frustrated with him that I wish I could just raise my voice.

He's been complaining that no one wants to come visit us for Eid... but when he found out we were having guests, he gave an excuse to go out so he wouldn't have to entertain them. Astaghfiruallah... He bitches [yes he does] about every single relative of my mom's side who annoys him or whom he's jealous of etc. One of my uncles was talking about his grandson who made it to one of the top junior colleges in Singapore and my dad bitched later in the car about how arrogant my uncle was. And I was like.... get a grip please! He was just proud of his grandson! How many people can make it to that school? 

He complains about the food, he complains about housework when asked to do... He complains about every little thing and it's making me very annoyed. He keeps quarreling with my mother and knowing how tired my mother is from working so hard, it makes me very angry and hurt.

I wish I could tell him that our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w helps out with the housework, never complains about his food and above all never bitches about other people even when they were unkind to him. But it is not my place to tell my father that or is it?
It makes me scared to get married sometimes when this happens. =(

Eid Mubarak!

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Alhamdulliah, Allah has allowed us to live through the Ramadhan to meet Syawal. 

I don't particularly like Hari Raya because of all the wastage and excessiveness that people including me go through. We buy too much tidbits and too much delicacies hoping that guests would come... but people don't usually eat so much... so it's just for show.

Then of course when we all congregate at my grandma's house, it is very disturbing to see the clothes that people wear... see through, body hugging... and the excessive make up and made up nails... It saddens me.

But apart from that, I am happy to have met some of my aunts and uncles whom I love so much... plus I got to see my granny and kiss her.

I'm just waiting for the chance to go out with Hubtobe for Hari Raya and take photos with him. =) I miss him too. Hari raya will be different in the coming years once we become permanent additions to each other's families.

Burning the Holy Book...

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Astaghfirallah... 

I pray that they do not go ahead with the burning of the Quran... 

Do they not see that the Holy Quran has references from the Bible too? That the Holy Quran honours and puts Jesus in high regards? 

One of the five pillars of Islam states that we must believe in all the holy books sent down to man from Allah and that includes the Torah and Bible too and never have Muslims burnt those books... so why do they have to burn something they do not understand?

These people who want to burn the Quran... have they even read it once in their lives? But more importantly, have they even read their own book enough to say that both books are not from God? Na'uzubilla...

I am too far away to do anything but it pains me greatly that this is going to happen. 

Only Allah knows what's the best punishment for such a sin.

A little Housekeeping

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I finally did it- I changed the layout of my blog!!!

It was a bit of a heartache at first when I changed it... but now I feel that it's more... me.

I love a good cup of coffee anytime and it also represents me sitting down, pondering and musing over stuffs. Coffee as a stimulant for my musings. Heh. 

I also added a few more blogs to my following. I'm really happy to be able to have access to all the other muslimahs out there; tap on their wisdom and experiences. Alhamdulillah.

The house is finally in a clean condition- windows cleaned, toilets scrubbed, floors vacuumed and mopped, mirrors and ornaments wiped, bedsheets changed and curtains hung. Truth is, it is tiring to do all these by myself but I do it because of Allah and I do not whine when my mother asks me to do it. I only get angry when my brothers and my dad are sleeping away or watching tv and not helping out. But then again, more pahala for me!

It's 6.15pm and my mother has finally finished cooking. Alhamdulillah. She has to cook for my grandma too since everyone will be congregating there tomorrow. She's been up for 48 hours straight but I know she's doing this for her family and for Allah. May Allah reward her for her efforts.

I am hoping perhaps I could go for Eid prayers tomorrow morning. My dad wants to leave home after subuh prayers. I would love to go but I am not sure if the mosque they are going to will have space for females to pray (sometimes the men use the female area too) and also, my mom might need my help tomorrow to iron the clothes and prepare lunch for everyone. But I will ask her later.

I am quite upset that I missed the last 7 days of Ramadan because of my monthly crimson visit. I felt so lost, being unable to perform my solat, my terawih and even the qiamulail prayers at night. So maybe that's why I turn to doing housework and helping my mother out as much as I can to make up for it.

As Ramadan finally comes to an end, I feel very sad knowing that the spirits of our dead have to return to their graves to continue with their torture. When the takbir is sound on the last day of Ramadan, it brings tears to my eyes- for those who have passed on and for myself.

These past two Ramadan I have asked myself what have I done this year that was different and better from the last?

Alhamdulillah, I think this year I have become a better person; always in remembrance of Allah and slowly relearning as much as I can about my religion. Insyaallah, next year will be better.

May we begin this Syawal with much forgiveness for our past sins to each other.

Amin.

The men don't get it....

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Men should help out more at home... no matter how tired they are from work... because women who work also have to go home and work some more in their unpaid household labour. Aaii... I could go on about the sociological implications of that but in another entry perhaps.

But women, having been exposed to chemicals used to do laundry and for household cleaning as well as the occasional cuts while cooking and all that, this is what happens to their hands:


They crack.
They peel.
They get sore.
They get rashes.
They get swollen.







Don't you pity our mothers, wives and sisters?

Making friends

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Today after class, a year one girl approached me and asked me where's the musollah. Masyaallah... I was so touched.

Firstly, I was so honoured that she chose to ask me although there were other muslim girls in the class. Maybe Allah has deemed me the right person to direct her. And I am very grateful to have walked with her to the musollah although I can't pray. We talked about school and I gave her alot of advice as a senior to a junior.

Secondly, I was touched in that there are still good muslims out there who still remember to pray. Alhamdulillah... It made me realise that when I was her age 3 years ago... I had never asked that question before. =( I do not want to imagine how much sins I had back then or how many of my fasts were invalid because I did not pray back then. =( It made me sad.

But it also made me grateful that I have 4 very good muslim friends who stayed by me throughout (even when there was a time I wanted to distance from them for they were too halal for me). Astaghfiruallah... May Allah forgive me for that...

They gave me the guidance when I needed it- especially when I first started wearing the hijab and re-learning about Islam again... I am grateful to Allah for destining me to sit with them on the first day of school and for allowing me to have true friends whom I really love very much. Insyaallah we will be friends till we have our own children. Amin.

Laylatul-ala-Qadar

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I apologize that this entry is mostly written in Malay. But the tagline is an interesting twist on the Malay idea of 'ala-kadar' meaning doing things half heartedly or not putting real effort into something.

A friend shared this note on Facebook, so here it is:

Sangat mencabar nak memberikan pemahaman yang mudah bagi sekumpulan belia tentang malam LaylatulQadar. Saya nekad mulakan dengan analogi berbentuk cerita.

Tersebut alkisah sekumpulan pekerja berkumpul di meja Iftar. Salah seorang dari mereka pun bersuara.

“Kau tau tak, Bos kata siapa yang overtime hujung bulan ni dia nak kasi bonus!” “betul ke?”

“Betul! Tapi yang menjadi musykilnya sekarang ini, bos kata siapa yang datang satu hari dari hari-hari tersebut saja yang dia akan beri bonus ni!” “eh, pelik betullah, kenapa begitu syaratnya, ini dah kira siapa nasib baik dia dapat la eh?”

Begitulah manusia, apabila sesuatu ganjaran itu dirahsiakan cara meraihnya, tentu sekali usaha untuk mendapatkannya akan dikira sebagai NASIB. Ertinya tiada perlulah sebarang usaha tambahan melainkan sekadar menanti keputusannya dihujung nanti, kalau kena, kenalah.

Sebenarnya malam penuh ganjaran itu kekal rahsia berabad lama adalah kerana menjadi bukti keadilan dan kasih sayang Tuhan.

Keadilan dan kasih sayang?

Iya, Bayangkan kamu ambil bahagian dalam lumba maraton, beratus pelari yang lain turut ambil bahagian, dihujung sana siap menanti ganjaran bagi yang menghabiskan larian, bahkan jalanraya dibersihkan dan ditutup agar para pelari mudah berlari dan tiada halangan.

Maka begitulah Ramadhan, dihujungnya menanti banyak ganjaran bagi yang menginginkan. Bagi memudahkan kita, Tuhan yang Maha pengasih pun menggari Syaitan dari mengusik agar tidak mengganggu konsentrasi ibadah. Jadi apa alasannya untuk kita tidak memecut lari?

“Mungkin ada dari mereka yang rasa penat.” Sahut seorang dari mereka mungkin memahami perumpaan analogi tersebut.

“Betul tu, maka syukurlah kita tuhan kurniakan 10 malam terakhir sebagai jarak bagi kita mulakan pecutan, dan pasti dihujung nanti ramai yang tercungap kepenatan kan? Oleh itu hanya yang besungguh-sungguh dan yang bersiap fizikal dan mental sahaja yang mampu memelihara stamina mereka hingga ke akhir garisan. Sekaligus meraih hadiah yang layak bagi mereka atas usaha dan kesungguhan yang ditunjukkan.

Soalannya adakah mereka yang tidak bersiap dan bersungguh akan gagal mendapat ganjaran?”

Jawapannya tidak, pasti ada juga yang sampai kegarisan penamat cuma bezanya adalah mereka tidak akan mendapat kedudukan yang baik dalam perlumbaan tersebut.

“hah, tak apalah asalkan kita dapat kan dah cukup baik tu Ustaz!”

“ Kalau begitu awak dah berjaya menanam niat mengejar laylatul-ala-kadar namanya”

“haha, dan bos tu pun tak rugi apa-apa kan Ustaz?” kata temannya.

“Tau takpe.” Jawab Ustaz.

A thief?

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Subhanallah... I found this on one of the Fb pages and I think it is very good. I wish that someone had shown me this when I was younger. But hopefully I could use it for my own children when they get to the stage where they start noticing the opposite sex and all.

The captions:

The girl says: Ya Allah, please protect my heart lest I steal his iman without me realising it. I pray to You, Oh God to strengten my iman and his iman.

The boy says: Subhanallah... she's so beautiful. Please fortify the iman in my heart. Let my presence be a source of strength to this girl's iman. Don't let me be the reason for a decrease in her iman.

Hijab Do's and Don'ts

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I found this very good article to which I will put here as a point of reference to myself and to others as what it means to wear the hijab over your head. Today it has come to a point where I am SO SICK of seeing girls who call themselves muslims using the hijab like a fashion statement and using for reasons OTHER than seeking Allah's protection and His pleasure.

I take a huge offense when I see girls in hijab wearing nail polish or excessive make up- main point: if you're wearing fake eyelashes and a GLOB of liquid eyeliner- odds are you never pray coz if you're gonna give me the excuse that it's 'the time of the month' then wow... you must have your period 365days a year.

Here's a photo that annoyed me:
NO- You do NOT use a cat ear on top of your hijab for the sake of looking 'cute'. It's such an insult to the hijab. Masyaallah... It made me so very angry when I saw this... and more so when it was from the front.







Then there's this:

NO- you do not wear tights under a mini skirt and pair it with a shawl and call it hijab. It says tramp, not muslimah.


And lastly... if I can see your round breasts then that means
you're not wearing a hijab either.







So to the article proper. I am only extracting four of her main points. I took it from this website: http://islamic-world.net/sister/hijab_in_quran.htm

Introduction:

This essay will attempt to briefly yet concisely enumerate the basic requirements regarding Muslim women's dress (Hijab) as stipulated by the Shari'ah (Divine Law) of Islam. The term Hijab, includes not only dress and covering the body, but methods of behavior before members of the same and/or opposite sex, promoting privacy for females and prohibiting loose intermingling between males and females, and thereby encouraging modesty, decency, chastity and above all, respect and worship of Allah. Minor differences exist among the scholars regarding the actual number of the requirements because of varying methods used by them in codifying. The ones mentioned here represent the ones agreed upon by the overwhelming majority of scholars and are all solidly backed by firm evidence taken from the Qur'an, the Sunnah and the practice of the Sahabah (the Companions).

The First Requirement: The Extent of Covering

The dress worn in public must cover the entire body except what has been specifically excluded, based upon the following proofs:

Allah Ta'ala says: "And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts from sin and not show of their adornment except only that which is apparent, and draw their headcovers over their necks and bosoms and not reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women (i.e., their sisters in Islam), or their female slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants free of physical desires, or small children who have no sense of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah altogether, O you Believers, in order that you may attain success.[An-Nur, 24:31]

The word zeenah in the aayah above, literally means "adornment", and includes both (a) that which Allah has adorned, i.e., the woman's natural and/or physical beauty, and (b) that with which they adorn themselves, i.e., jewelry, eye shadow, attractive clothing, hand dye, etc. Soorat An-Nur spells out specifically the commands concerning the fact that a woman's natural beauty and her adornments are to be concealed from strangers except by (1) What may show due to accidental or uncontrollable factors such as the blowing of the wind, etc., and (2) What has been exempted (see explanation at end of this section).

Allah also says: O Prophet, Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their outer garments about themselves (when they go out). That is better so that they may be recognised and not molested. And Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. [Al-Ahzaab, 33:59] Abu Dawood narrates that `Aishah (RAA) said: "Asmaa' the daughter of Abu Bakr (RAA) came to see the Messenger of Allah (SAAWS) wearing a thin dress; so Allah's Messenger (SAAWS) turned away from her and said: O Asmaa', once a woman reaches the age of menstruation, no part of her body should be seen but this-and he pointed to his face and hands.

The word khumur (pl. of khimar) refers to a cloth which covers the head (including the ears), hair, neck and bosom. The esteemed mufaasir (Quranic interpreter) Al-Qurtubi explains: "Women in the past used to cover their heads with the khimar, throwing its ends over their backs. This left the neck and the upper part of the chest bare, in the manner of the Christians. Then Allah commanded them to cover those parts with the khimar."

The Second Requirement: Thickness

The garment should be thick and opaque so as not to display the skin color and form of the body beneath it. Delicate or transparent clothing does not constitute a proper covering. The Sahabah were very stern on this and regarded scanty clothing in public as an indicator of a woman's lack of belief. Al-Qurtubi reports a narration from `Aishah (RAA) that some women from Banu Tamim came to see her wearing transparent clothing.

`Aishah said to them: "If you are are believing women, these are not the clothes of believing women." He also reports that a bride came to see her wearing a sheer, transparent khimaar, whereupon `Aishah (RAA) said: "A woman who wears such clothing does not believe in Soorat An-Nur." Moreover, the following hadeeth makes this point graphically clear. Allah's Messenger (SAAWS) said: There will be in the last of my Ummah (nation of believers), scantily dressed women, the hair on the top of their heads like a camel's hump. Curse them, for verily they are cursed.

In another version he said: ...scantily dressed women, who go astray and make others go astray; they will not enter Paradise nor smell its fragrance, although it can be smelled from afar. [At-Tabarani and Sahih Muslim] "Scantily dressed women" are those who wear clothing which reveals more than it conceals, thereby increasing her attractiveness while opening the path to a host of evils.

The Third Requirement: Looseness

The clothing must hang loosely enough and not be so tight-fitting as to show the shape and size of the woman's body. The reason for wearing a garment which is wide and loose fitting is that the function of Muslim women's clothing is to eliminate the lure and beauty of her body from the eye of the beholder. Skin-tight body suits, etc. may conceal the skin color, yet they display the size and shape of the limbs and body.

The following hadeeth proves this point clearly: Usamah ibn Zaid said: Allah's Messenger (SAAWS) gave me a gift of thick Coptic cloth he had recieved as a gift from Dahiah Al-Kalbi, and so I gave it to my wife. Thereafter the Prophet (SAAWS) asked me: Why didn't you wear the Coptic cloth? I replied: I gave it to my wife. the Prophet (SAAWS) then said: Tell her to wear a thick gown under it (the Coptic garment) for I fear that it may describe the size of her limbs. [Narrated by Ahmad, Al-Bayhaqi, and Al-Haakim]

The Fourth Requirement: Color, Appearance and Demeanor

Allah ta'ala says: "O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women; if you fear (Allah), then do not be too pleasent of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should feel desire (for you)." [Al-Ahzab, 33:32] The reason for the revelation of this verse is not the fear of distrust nor misbehavior on the part of the women, but rather to prevent them from speaking invitingly, walking seductively, or dressing revealingly so as to arouse sexual desire in the heart of lecherous and evil men. Seductive dressing and enticing speech are the characteristics of ill-intentioned women, not Muslims.

Al-Qurtubi mentions that Mujahid (RAA) said: "Women (before the advent of Islam) used to walk about (alluringly) among men." Qatadah (RAA) said: "They used to walk in a sensuous and seductive manner." Maqatil (RAA) said: "The women used to wear an untied cloth on their heads, while provocatively toying with their necklaces, earrings and other ornamental jewelry."

Furthermore, Allah has commanded women not to display their beauty, meaning both natural and acquired beauty. Allah commands the believing women thus: ...And do not make a display of yourselves like the displaying of the ignorance of long ago... [Al-Ahzaab, 33:33] A garment which is intended to conceal a woman and her beauty from public view cannot be a thing which enhances her beauty. Therefore, the garment cannot contain bright colors, bold designs or shiny and reflective material that draw men's attention to the wearer. The Arabic word above, At-Tabarruj, means not only "to display oneself" but also "to spruce up one's charms for the purpose of exciting desire".

Imam Adh-Dhahabi says in his book Kitab Al-Kaba'ir (The Book of Major Sins): "Amongst the deeds which a woman is cursed for are displaying the adornments she wears, wearing perfume when she goes out, and wearing colorful clothes..." Hence, the Muslim woman is encouraged to wear muted, somber colors and to avoid bright designs, patterns and colors. This point should serve also as a reminder to Muslim men who are in positions of responsibility for their women, that Allah's Messenger (SAAWS) has warned in an authentic hadeeth narrated by `Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn Al-`Aas that amongst the three individuals who would not enter Jennah (Paradise) would be: Ad-Dayooth, who is contented with obscenity within his family. i.e., a cuckold-a man who permits the women for whom he is responsible, such as his wife, daughter, etc., to engage in illicit sexual relations or to display their beauty to men, thereby stimulating sexual desire.

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Masyaallah... May that be of some help to us now and the future. Alhamdulillah, Allah has helped enlightened me and given me the Knowledge to be a better Muslimah nowadays. I can only pray that for those stray sisters, may their hearts be open to the right path before it's too late.

Wallahualam Bissawab...

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

I just watched the female students in Al-Azhar University in a video from here and yes I'm convinced if I ever have to send my babies overseas then I will.

Mistakes during Ramadhan

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

My father is back from Korea and it feels good to hear his voice again when he's praying and doing his wirid. It's comforting... when I was really young I used to be waken up by his voice during subuh but then I'd just lie and listen to him. His intonation of his surahs and all never change one bit.

Anyway, here's a post I saw on Facebook and the lady said we should share it, so I will. =)

Mistakes during Ramadhan

Taking Ramadaan as a ritual.

For many of us Ramadaan has lost its spirituality and has become more of a ritual than a form of Ibaadah. We fast from morning to night like a zombie just because everyone around us is fasting too. We forget that its a time to purify our hearts and our souls from all evil....we forget to make dua, forget to beseech Allaah to forgive us and ask Him to save us from the Fire. Sure we stay away from food and drink but that's about all.Although the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: "Jibreel said to me,'May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person to who Ramadaan comes and his sins are not forgiven,' and I said, 'Ameen'. Then he said, 'May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person who lives to see his parents grow old, one or both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (by not serving them) and I said, 'Ameen'.Then he said, 'May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person in whose presence you are mentioned and he does not send blessings upon you,' and I said, 'Ameen.'" (Tirmidhi, Ahmad, others. Saheeh by al-Albaani)

Too much stress on food and drink.

For some people, the entire month of Ramadaan revolves around food. They spend the ENTIRE day planning, cooking, shopping and thinking about only food, instead of concentrating on Salaah, Quraan and other acts of worship. All they can think of is FOOD. So much so that they turn the month of 'fasting' into the month of 'feasting'. Come Iftaar time, their table is a sight to see, with the multitudes and varieties of food, sweets and drinks. They are missing the very purpose of fasting, and thus, increase in their greed and desires instead of learning to control them. It is also a kind of waste & extravagance.'.....and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allaah) likes not Al-Musrifoon (those who waste by extravagance)' [al-Araaf :31]

Spending all day cooking

Some of the sisters (either by their own choice or forced by their husbands) are cooking ALL day and ALL night, so that by the end of the day, they are too tired to even pray Ishaa, let alone pray Taraweeh or Tahajjud or even read Quraan. This is the month of mercy and forgiveness. So turn off that stove and turn on your Imaan!

Eating too much

Some people stuff themselves at Suhoor until they are ready to burst, because they think this is the way to not feel hungry during the day and some people eat at Iftaar, like there is no tomorrow, trying to 'make up for the food missed.' However, this is completely against the Sunnah. Moderation is the key to everything. The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: 'The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach; for the son of Adam a few mouthfuls are sufficient to keep his back straight. If you must fill it, then one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for air.' (Tirmidhi, Ibn Maajah. saheeh by al-Albaani). Too much food distracts a person from many deeds of obedience and > worship, makes him lazy and also makes the heart heedless. It was said to Imam Ahmad: Does a man find any softness and humility in his heart when he is full? He said, I do not think so.

Sleeping all day

Some people spend their entire day (or a major part of it) 'sleeping away their fast'. Is this what is really required of us during this noble month? These people also are missing the purpose of fasting and are slaves to their desires of comfort and ease. They cannot 'bear' to be awake and face a little hunger or exert a little self-control. For a fasting person to spend most of the day asleep is nothing but, negligence on his part.

Wasting time

The month of Ramadaan is a precious, precious time, so much so that Allaah calls this month 'Ayyamum Ma'doodaat' (A fixed number of days). Before we know it, this month of mercy and forgiveness will be over. We should try and spend every moment possible in the worship of Allaah so that we can make the most of this blessing. However, there are some of us who waste away their day playing video games, or worse still, watching TV, movies or even listening to music. Subhaan Allaah! Trying to obey Allaah by DISOBEYING him!

Fasting but not giving up evil

Some of us fast but do not give up lying, cursing, fighting, backbiting, etc. and some of us fast but do not give up cheating, stealing, dealing in haraam, buying lotto tickets, selling alcohol, fornication, etc. and all kinds of impermissible things without realizing that the purpose of fasting is to not stay away from food and drink; rather the aim behind it is to fear Allaah. "O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)" [al-Baqarah 2:183] The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: 'Whoever does not give up false speech and acting upon it, and ignorance, Allaah has no need of him giving up his food and drink.' (Bukhaari)

Smoking

Smoking is forbidden in Islam whether during Ramadaan or outside of it, as it is one of al-Khabaa'ith (evil things). And this includes ALL kinds of 'smoking material' eg.cigars, cigarettes, pipes,'Sheesha', hookah etc. 'he allows them as lawful At Tayyibaat (all good and lawful things), and prohibits them as unlawful Al Khabaa'ith (all evil and unlawful things) [al-A'raaf :157] It is harmful, not only to the one smoking, but also to the ones around him. It is also a means of wasting ones wealth. The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: 'There should be no harming or reciprocating harm.' This is especially true during fasting and it invalidates the fast.(Fatwa -Ibn 'Uthaymeen)

Skipping Suhoor

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: 'Eat suhoor for in suhoor there is blessing.'(Bukhaari, Muslim). And he (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: 'The thing thatdifferentiates between our fasting and the fasting of the People of the Book is eating suhoor.' (Muslim) Some people are too scared to fast if they miss Suhoor. However, this is a kind of cowardice and love of ease. What is the big deal if you missed a few morsels of food? It's not like you will die. Remember, obedience to Allaah overcomes everything.

Delaying breaking fast

Some people wait until the adhaan finishes or even several minutes after that, just to be 'on the safe side'. However, the Sunnah is to hasten to break the fast, which means breaking fast whenever the adhaan starts, right after the sun has set. Aa'ishah (RA) said: This is what the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to do. (Muslim) The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: 'The people will continue to do well so long as they hasten to break the fast.' (Bukhaari, Muslim) Determine to the best of your ability, the accuracy of your clock, calendar, etc. and then have tawakkul on Allaah and break your fast exactly on time.

Eating continuously until the time for Maghrib is up

Some people put so much food in their plates when breaking their fast and continue eating, enjoying dessert, drinking tea, etc., until they miss Maghrib. That is obviously not right. The Sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh) was that once he broke his fast with some dates, them he would hasten to the prayer. Once you are done with the prayer, you can always go back and eat some more if you wish.The prayer of the fasting person is guaranteed to be accepted at the time of breaking fast.The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: 'Three prayers are not rejected: the prayer of a father, the prayer of a fasting person, and the prayer of a traveler.' (al-Bayhaqi, saheeh by al-Albaani). Instead of sitting down and making Dua at this precious time, some people forego this beautiful chance, and are too busy frying samosas, talking, setting the food, filling their plates and glasses, etc. Think about it....Is food more important than the chance to have your sins forgiven or the fulfillment of your Duas.

Fasting but not praying

The fasting of one who does not pray WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. This is because not praying constitutes kufr as the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: 'Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his giving up prayer.' (Muslim) In fact, NONE of his good deeds will be accepted; rather, they are all annulled. 'Whoever does not pray 'Asr, his good deeds will be annulled.' (Bukhaari)

Fasting and not wearing Hijaab

Not wearing the Hijaab is a major sin as it is obligatory for Muslim women. (See Surah Nur, Surah Ahzaab). So fasting and not wearing hijaab certainly takes away enormously from the rewards of fasting, even if does not invalidate it.

Not fasting because of exams or work

Exams or work is NOT one of the excuses allowed by the Shariah to not fast. You can do your studying and revision at night if it is too hard to do that during the day. Also remember that pleasing and obeying Allaah is much more important than 'good grades'. Besides, if you will fulfil your obligation to fast, even if you have to study, Allaah will make it easy for you and help you in everything you do. 'Whosoever fears Allah, He will appoint for him a way out and provide for him from where he does not expect, Allah is Sufficient for whosoever puts his trust in Him.' (Surah at-Talaaq 2-3)

Mixing fasting and Dieting

DO NOT make the mistake of fasting with the intention to diet. That is one of the biggest mistakes some of us make (esp. sisters). Fasting is an act of worship and can only be for the sake of Allah alone. Otherwise, mixing it with the intention of dieting may become a form of (minor) Shirk. There is no specific number of rak'ahs for Taraweeh prayer, rather it is permissible to do a little or a lot. Both 8 and 20 are okay. Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen said: 'No one should be denounced for praying eleven or twenty-three (raka'ah), because the matter is broader in scope than that, praise be to Allaah.

Praying ONLY on the night of the 27th

Some people pray ONLY on the 27th to seek Lailat ul-Qadr, neglecting all other odd nights, although the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: 'Seek Lailat ul-Qadr among the odd numbered nights of the last ten nights of Ramadaan.' (Bukhaari, Muslim).

Wasting the last part of Ramadaan preparing for Eid

Some people waste the entire last 10 days of Ramadaan preparing for Eid, shopping and frequenting malls, etc. neglecting Ibadah and Lailatul Qadr. although, the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to strive the hardest during the last ten days of Ramadaan in worship (Ahmad, Muslim) and not in shopping. Buy whatever you need for Eid before Ramadaan so that you can utilize the time in Ramadaan to the max. Aa'ishah (RA) said: "When the (last) ten nights began, the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam)) would tighten his waist-wrapper (i.e., strive hard in worship or refrain from intimacy with his wives), stay awake at night and wake his family." (Bukhaari and Muslim).

Iftaar parties

Although inviting each other for breaking fast is something good and encouraged, some people go to extremes with lavish 'Iftaar parties' with all sorts of disobedience to Allaah, from flirting, mixing of the sexes and hijaab-less women, to show-off and extravagance, to heedlessness to Salaah, and Taraweeh to even music and dancing.

I hope the above serves as a reminder for us...

Wallahualam Bissawab

Happy Teachers' Day

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Today the kids have no school because it's teachers' day. Even my youngest brother slept in today. It's his birthday also but we're not really celebrating it. It's like that in my family. We just keep it within the family, remind each other that we love each other and we're grateful to Allah that we're alive.

Well that aside, I had to teach the children today and perhaps I was tired and sleepy and they too were tired and sleepy so I ended up scolding them alot. The girl's used to it... sometimes I think my scolding and nagging doesn't work on her anymore. But the boy got a bit hurt today. He said this to me:

"Just now you scolded my sister, now you scold me."

Oh gosh... I'm so sorry my baby.. I really didn't mean to scold you so much... but you were really making me lose my patience. It was then I realise that I am fasting and so I tried to control my temper. Even when he was sleeping with his eyes awake and day dreaming while I ask him to answer a question, I kept my voice down and did not scold him. Usually I don't scold him because he's quite smart and learns fast but today he was especially braindead and it was only 11am!

I asked Hubtobe if I should buy them something to say sorry, but he said that I should not pamper them too much. Oh dear. What should I do?

Okay, on another note, I've decided to change the layout of the blog. When I first started, I did it simply to get the blog running but soon forgot to customize it. So here are a few options. The picture colour's not too exact but it's close.

I like these kinda russet tones. Sets me in the mood! I'm gonna ponder a while then maybe play around with the templates then nag at Hubtobe to help me decide.

That's all for now! For all the teachers out there, have a good rest today!