Soulmates; Is there 'The One' for you?

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Let me start off first with this ayat from the Quran in hopes that we are always grateful to Him for everything and that we are put far away from those who sin, even if it is within ourselves.

 رَبِّ بِمَا أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ فَلَنْ أَكُونَ ظَهِيرًا لِّلْمُجْرِمِينَ

O My Lord! Since You have bestowed favours on me, I will never more be a helper for sinners (28:17).

So, to the topic of the day- 

Does the concept of 'The One' exist in the Muslim vocabulary? How do we make sense of this when Muslim men are allowed to marry up to four wives and that technically, it is forbidden for Muslims to date or see their future spouse before marriage?

Marriage is such an important step that our blessed Prophet (s) spoke of marriage as being `half the religion': `Whoever has married has completed half of his religion; therefore let him fear Allah in the other half!' (Bayhaqi)

This begs the question- Why? 

There's a very simple reason for this. Yes, there is 'The One' for us when we seek marriage with someone... and that 'One' is Allah. 

When I first thought about this idea; it seemed counter-intuitive but then I began to ask myself this: Why do we do anything? We do everything in this world because of Allah and for His pleasure alone. 

Therefore, when you meet someone who reminds you of Allah and who loves you solely for Allah, then you know that this person is therefore right for you. He/she becomes the channel or the bond that helps you escalate your love for Allah through your love for each other. Loving your spouse is loving Allah's creation and thus loving Allah. Furthermore, if your spouse follows the sunnahs of the Prophet closely; the remembrance of our Prophet s.a.w is also another way to build our love for Allah. 

Therefore, do not be swindled by the popularized notions of love professed on Valentine's Day. This [sick] notion of finding 'the one' has not stopped divorce from happening; in fact it has increased the rate of divorce, esp in Singapore. Why? Coz couples realise 'oh, he/she's not the one. Move on'.

‎ 

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَ‌ٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect [30:21]

In another entry here, I mentioned that these 'Signs' always seek to return to the source, which is Allah, the Creator. So what does this tell us? Allah's Signs of His love for us is when we feel love for our spouse because He had put it there. But this love belongs to Him and as such, we must constantly remember to return that love to Him; through our daily ibadahs and also through our daily interactions with our family, our spouse, our children.

It's very simple really. Insyaallah, He will guide those who believe.

O Allah, grant the Muslim youth (men) pious and righteous wives, and make from their offspring Muslims who will rise the banner of Islam, and carry the Quran (in their hearts), and who will order good and forbid evil.


O Allah, grant the daughters of the Muslims pious and righteous husbands, and make them pious, obedient (to Allah and their husbands), repentance, not showing themselves (wearing hijjab).


O Allah, grant the Muslim youth (men) the chastity of Prophet Yusuf (AS), and grant the daughters of the Muslims the purity of Mary (Mariam (AS)).


Amin