Mengaji

Mengaji is the Malay word for reading/learning Quran because of the root word 'kaji' which means to explore, research, study. And truly, reading the Quran is not just about saying the words out loud but learning about it... which is what I've tried to do these past years.

Learning- from the meanings to the 'rules' and grammar of Arab. It's beautiful... and for the fact that I am still in touch with my ustadz and ustazah  for 10 years since I first started to learn with them is wonderful.

Even though the children who come to study at their home change every few years, I am still the one who stayed... and grew together with my teachers and their family. I've seen their eldest marry and held their youngest; belched her a few times and now she's all grown up and very naughty as children are- running around and all.

I recalled how I was one of those young children, with my own peers, learning and reading the Quran together with them... where are they now, these friends of mine? Have they grown into good Muslims and Muslimahs? Insyaallah.

It feels good to return to learning tajwid with my ustad and hearing him read the Quran after a long hiatus...
Some things like these, I will cherish forever.

Amin

It's Voting time!

In a few hours I will be voting for the very first time!

Excited? Just a little. Singapore does need more voice in its parliament. But then again, we are an electoral democracy which means that the elections are just a way to legitimize the authoritarian's rule here. Which is fine for many of us because we see it as so natural.

I shan't even go into this topic. I'm hip deep in my sociology module on state power that I'm having a headache.

So we shall just wait and see how the election goes. Insyaallah, it will go well. May more opposition enter the parliament -an increase in 5% would also be good.

Jealousy; astaghfirualllah...

I've been toying with writing short stories since I was 19... and now I've braved longer stories that cross into novel categories. I will be humble and say that while I have my share of fans, I still am an amateur writer and still learning from some of the other writers within the guild as well as from published authors.

I had this conversation regarding the content of romance novels and sometimes I think it is so difficult at times to pick up a book and NOT see the cover of a man and a woman. I think I've stopped reading cheesy romance novels ever since I was 15. And nowadays if there are sexual content in the stories [even in murder/thriller ones], I just skip the part.

Truth is, some of these writers write the best plot and it's such a shame that they have their characters engage in pre-marital sex... although, I have found a book where sex is only mentioned between the married characters and the author doesn't go into details. Yes, that's good but if you're not married yet, skip that part please. -laughs-

So anyway, today, one of my fellow writers asked me what pen name should she use for publishing and I was a bit taken aback. We had talked about publishing our work together because we write the same genre and I didn't expect her to go ahead with it before me. =(

She's a few years older than me and had built up her reader base for two additional years so I guess she deserves it... and the moment I started feeling jealous... astaghfiruallah... I said to myself, what would my Prophet s.a.w. say? He would say Alhamdulillah for that person. And he would also say that you should not compare yourself to anyone. If you want that knowledge, you have to earn it and work hard for it.

So insyaallah, I will. Being a full time author is something I really am hoping to achieve some day. So for now... I'll have to improve on my writing, do more research for accurate historical backgrounds and then let my imagination develop. Writing takes time to mature and I should be grateful I have this skill and knowledge, instead of being jealous at others for having more of it. =)

Ya Allah... please give me the strength to go through this week. I have so much assignments and I'm so lost and tired and stressed but I see this as a test towards the knowledge that You have conferred on mankind.

I am hunbled at Your knowledge and at the little that I have grasp all these while.

Your humble servant is grateful that You are willing to share Your wealth with me... and I pray forgiveness for all my procrastinations and neglect in achieving the best of it.

Amin.

My life does not belong to me

That is the philosophy of a friend of mine. She believes in giving back to society, helping others and sharing what good that Allah has given her for the better of Mankind. Alhamdulillah.

So today when I saw her face in the newspaper, I was so happy for her. She was one of the students who got accepted into the University scholarship programme and is being sent to various places like Thailand and India to work with children who cannot afford to go to school. I think she will be sent there to teach them.

But what strikes me about this particular friend is how she continues to push herself despite all the difficulties that Allah has placed before her. I remembered in college, she was allocated a school that was very far from her home but she still went and did very well. And then in university, her father passed away, leaving her as the eldest at 22 years old to take care of the family. Her mother is a housewife and has no qualifications so she was afraid to start working at that time.

Well... I am so happy for her that Allah has given her this rezeki... may the scholarship open up more doors for her in the future... I remembered telling her after her father died that life was going to be tough... but she will always have her friends and family and she must never lose faith in God. When He takes something from us, He will return us something else in forms that we may not even expect.

I pray for her that she will always be in remembrance of Allah... and may He bless them with bountiful rezeki always. As she always says, 'my life does not belong to me' and yes... because it belongs to Allah.

Amin.