Role Models for our Daughters

 

 "In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

As always, the only things that are meaningful on Facebook are my Daily Islamic reminders. Here's a post that I'd like to share:

What do you teach your daughters? Do you allow them to act like Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Rhianna and others? Or do you encourage them to aspire to be the best of women. We are told, "The best women of mankind are four: Mariam daughter of `Imran, Assiya wife of Pharaoh, Khadija daughter of Khuwailid, and Fatima the daughter of the Messenger of Allah" (Bukhari/Muslim). Give your daughters proper role models!

Of course, with this said; it is also equally important that the mother acts as a role model as well. While we tell our daughters to follow the path of these wonderful Muslim women, we must also uphold all those values that these women in history have shown to us.

I expect alot from my children (insyaallah, when I have them). I expect them to be good muslims who establish regular prayers and fast and who have equal interest in acquiring knowledge of both this world and the next. I know they will be naughty and stubborn at times and I know they will be bombarded by all these bad influence of Lady Gaga, Rhianna and the likes. It will be hard to raise our daughters and sons in the coming future, but as parents, we must always try our best.

Always remember that our daughters will one day become mothers who will then have their own daughters and the cycle continues. Women have always been responsible for the socialization of children and also the imparting of values and knowledge.

Being a teacher

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Some time back, a friend of mine shared an incident about how she met her former professor who, when told that she was training to be a teacher, said that 'you wasted my time'. That must really hurt my friend alot.


This friend of mine is a really intelligent muslimah and one of the sisters whom I look up to. So when I read about her defense on teaching, I felt conflicted. One one hand, I agree with her professor that after four years of training to be a journalist, it becomes such a waste that one cannot contribute back into the field that lacks so much female muslim voices. But on the other hand, I agree and I also support this sister in her reasons for becoming a teacher.

I quote: And now after graduation, at this juncture, as I reflect upon my role as God's Creation and in the grander scheme of things, I feel that being a teacher is the best way for me to make some change in this wonky world. Many people say teachers become teachers because they feel the most powerful in the classroom, because they have 'no other jobs', because because because... But I'd like to say that the feeling of being able to bring younger individuals on a journey, to make them learn and learn with them, is a beautiful one.

As I seat here at NIE, trying to comprehend what has just happened to me, I realise I have the better option of being in control of my learning. That God has given me the best faculties to make sense of this world. And I hope the person realised I actually didn't waste the person's time.

In fact, the person has helped me to realise the dimensions of the larger goal I have in life.

I didn't waste your time. You were one of the people who made me into a better someone.

Masyaallah... [by the way, if you're reading this, please don't mind that I quote this from you]

As for me, many people ask me "What are you going to do after you graduate?" and seriously I don't like being asked that... Whatever I want to be or choose to want to be, are all hinged upon Allah's decisions...

Many people assume that I would also go into teaching... and many more tell me that I should. And I tell them that I cannot teach children whom I have no emotional connection with... I cannot teach them for a year or two or three and watch them go away into their own lives without me beside them. But I can teach adults... because they are responsible for their own learning and they are of equal standing to argue with. Surely one cannot expect a 7 year old child to defend himself on why he chooses to colour the bread black instead of brown or beige?

As a woman and as a Muslim, I feel there is more that I can do for the world and I want to contribute back with a greater force than if I were to be a teacher. There are already many sisters in the teaching fraternity... but how many have stepped up to be leaders of the country? or leaders of the judicial systems? win a Nobel prize? Not many...

I'm not saying I am hoping to do all those things... but for me... that's a starting point to consider the value of my future.

Alhamdullilah, we made it back in ONE piece!

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Today, my friends and I did our yearly visiting to each others' house... only that this year I am driving. =) 

I must say that driving the whole day is very tiring... especially when you have to focus on the road and on the conversations and on a 101 things at the same time.

But, Alhamdulillah, I managed to drive relatively calm, with no mishaps. My friends were so comfortable they ended up sleeping... but I am grateful for my friend sitting beside me who kept me alert by talking constantly.

I think I mentioned in another entry about how I'm so grateful to have friends such as these. They all pray on time and never miss their prayers. They are really good influence- socially, culturally and religiously. Truly, I am almost a complete opposite of what I used to be back in year one... and yet my friends stayed true to me; always patient and never judging.

Anyway, today at one of my friend's house, we played this game called Kalimaat by Baba Ali. Here. It's kinda like charades... but with a twist. And it also tests our knowledge on Islam as well as our memory skills. It turned out that I do have a good memory. Hahahaha. But what amazed me was that, 4 years back, I probably wouldn't know how to describe in a charades the word 'tirmidzhi' or 'miswak' or 'caliphs'. Yes... I am that embarrassingly un-learned. Masyaallah.

But Alhamdullillah, I am a better muslim now and I have my friends to thank for that. I only pray that our friendship will last till we have our own kids someday. Amin.  

Dilemma of the Knowledge Seeker

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Masyaallah, this is such a belated entry! But before I forget, here are some of the pointers that I took down from the forum held at the Sultan Mosque. 

 

One of the speakers, Ustadz Noor Deros in particular really impresed me, because of the level of his intellectual provocations. He is currently an Executive at the Muslim Thinker Department at En-Naem Mosque. He graduated from Madrasah Al-Aljunied Al-Islamiah, Singapore and had furthered his studies at Al-Azhar University with a Bachelor of Arts, Islamic Creed & Philosophy.

So his main argument about seeking knowledge is to take it as a challenge; demystify yourself and see what is beyond the apparent.

For example: When Allah commanded His creations to prostrate to Nabi Adam a.s., what exactly were they prostrating to?

“So, when I have made him and have breathed into him of My Spirit, do ye fall down, prostrating yourselves unto him. So the angels fell prostrate, all of them together.”

- Al-Hijr 29-30

Therefore, Iblis who refused to prostrate was only seeing what was apparent; i.e. the physical body of Nabi Adam a.s. and not the spirit that had been infused in his body by Allah s.w.t.

To which Ustadz Noor then explained that the root of 'Ilm is 'alam which can roughly be translated as our natural surroundings or in his defination 'a sign'. And indeed our surroundings are signs of Allah's creations and thus it is apt.

عِلْمٌ  comes from the word عَلَمٌ which means; a sign.

And the spirit [ which Allah has breathed into Man] reads these signs and seek to return to It's source which is Allah. Masyaallah....

And how can this be further explained?

When we learn, we are exposed to   العلم

which can mean two things- knowledge

or it can mean the Introduction.

When Allah shares with us His secrets and knowledge, He is actually introducing Himself. In His kitab-kitab, in His creations and so on.

Therefore, if you see that knowledge is ultimately a method to learn about Allah and be closer to Him, then you have succeeded in gaining that knowledge as a form of ibadah.

Insyaallah....

Children are watching [hearing and listening]

"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"

Recently, a friend of mine shared this video with me about how children are always imitating their parents; watching their every movement and listening to their words. To their subjective consciousness, their parents are reality and everything that their parents do or say are usually right.


Here's the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3WioZcjbys

Here's a quote I took from this website about mistakes that parents make when raising children:

Many parents do not realize how observant and absorbing a child is. They will talk in front of him forgetting that he is present, almost as though he is a piece of furniture - deaf and dumb. But a child listens and absorbs, often ponders over and sometimes repeats, what he hears. Thus when a parent says something about a particular thing or person, and then says something different to someone else, the child is introduced to being two-faced. A parent may rant against someone, and say he dislikes him immensely. Yet when he meets the same person, he is very nice to him and shows no sign of his anger. Although to a certain degree this may be necessary, for we cannot show our disagreements openly, it is not necessary to indulge in hypocritical behavior. A hypocrite is one who will be very sweet to the face, but will stab from the back. Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a) says: The worst of the servants (of Allah) is one who has two faces and two tongues. He praises his brother-in-faith when he is present, and eats him when he is absent.

A child should not be exposed to such behavior. He believes that his parent is always right, and to see such two faced behavior is a disillusionment and a wrong message.

The reason why I'm writing this entry is perhaps because I am disturbed by some of the things that I've been observing for the past year or so.


- It saddens me a lot when parents don't insist on prayers being done on time; skipping prayers when it suits their timetable and doing it only when they have the time. If one doesn't feel crippled after he/she overslept and missed fajr prayers, then he/she is probably needs to improve on their iman and ibadah.


-being vicious, back-biting individuals is another. Talking about others' downfall, calling your own children stupid or other degrading terms serve as a kind of doa for them. -sigh-


Today someone said this to me: "If you want to try to islamify me, then you are better off going to the jungle and making muslims out of the natives. I am already a Muslim, why do you need to tell me what is right or wrong?"


Astaghfiruallahal'azim...


Hubtobe once told me that when a makmum had approached one of the Imams at a mosque to correct his Al-Fatihah and the Imam was driven to tears; humbled by his minute mistake.


No one escapes from mistakes and every criticism or advice [whether you think its right or wrong] should be used as a point of reference to improve yourself.


The Holy Prophet (s) is reported to have said, “The inheritance of Allah, the exalted, from His believing servant, is a child who will worship Him after him (his death).”
 

Alhamdulillah, Allah has opened my heart and my mind to correct the wrongs that my parents have influenced me in the past. I am not discrediting them, for they have raised me well; sending me to madrasah and quran reading classes. I only pray that they could increase their Iman and remember Allah at all times. Insyaallah, we can all be better Muslims...

Amin


Allah knows best.