"In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate"
My purpose in this entry is not to bad-mouth but to share an experience that I hope parents and soon-to-be parents could take into consideration when raising their kids.
My relationship with children are quite ambiguous. Sometimes I like them, sometimes I don't and sometimes they are just students for me to teach. But they are always innocent, truthful and protected by His grace.
Today I went to teach a ten year old girl who on the first glance seem like a normal child but according to her parents, she's slow and has difficulty learning.
But when I started the lessons, I found the child very intelligent -maybe not in the mainstream way but her non-academic intelligence is stifled to make way for 'rules' and 'forced practices' of the curriculum. Her parents focus only on her results and don't really care if one of her art work got sent for a competition of if she plays brilliant music.
And the saddest thing she said to me was this:
On my birthday, I wished that I would become clever so that I will not disappoint anyone ever again, especially my father and mother.
My academia background tells me to define 'clever' and to take note of the placement of 'father' before 'mother'.
So I asked her what does it mean to be clever?
She said it is to pass all her subjects well and become a teacher.
Then I asked, are you not clever now?
She says no.
Then I asked, says who?
She says when I never pass my exams and my father scolds me.
So I said, Do you know where cleverness comes from?
She shakes her head then frowns. Is it from studying hard? She asks.
No, I said. It comes from God. It comes from Allah. And He never makes his creations imperfect. Everyone is clever in their own little way. So maybe you're not good in maths and science but I saw you had really high marks for your mother tongue. What do you think that means?
Then she got excited. I later learn that everyone seems to ignore her strengths and focus only on her weakness. So after 5 minutes of sharing, I finally said -see, you can be a language teacher! I'm not saying that you don't have to still put in effort for your weak subjects but that you should be proud that you have a strength to lean on.
-sigh-
It hurts me that a child thinks she's a disappointment... because seriously, she isn't. The education system is just that - it divides and separates; gives labels to children, traumatize them and make them think themselves as stupid or clever according to some grade they get.
Until they forget that it is the learning that is important... every thing we learn is one step closer to God. So parents, don't just care about your child's result. Because sometimes, Allah has other plans for them.
